I bought $204 dollars of stuff at PetsMart today. $30 of it was for two calming collars for my brother's neurotic cat. The rest was dog food. I see other people similarily stocking up, taking advantage of the PetsMart Holiday sales, while their cutsie little lab mixes and cocker spaniels trot behind and the jack russells and chihuahuas pee excitedly in the shopping carts. The two giant bags of dog food they're buying will last them 6-9 months (Shoot, might last the chihuahuas a year). I'll be happy if I get two months out of the four bags I bought. FOUR 34lb bags of dog food. 136 lbs of dog food. Remus's appetite is increasing because it's getting cold outside again. We're up to 10 cups of food a day. Actually, it's midnight right now and I just put another four cups in his bowl, if he finishes it before morning it'll be 14 cups of food in less than 24 hours. I'm contemplating buying a feedbag...
I shaved him a few days ago. His "Winter Cut". i.e. I left the clippers on the longest guard and he now has uneven tufts sticking out where the blades bogged down. Not sure if it really improved his appearance too much, but he sheds a little less, his fur is softer, and he no longer looks like a shaggy poof on stick legs. Why he can't grow a decent fur coat on his legs I will never understand. He just gets these ethereal whisps that trail out from his elbows and spike down his legs like the hair of a balding man attempting to gel spike his wrap around coif. Also, the shorter hair allows for better visualization of the jingle harness, oh yeah.
YES I will get pictures of him in his harness. I'm too proud of the construction of said harness not to post a few photes, but right now my camera battery is dead.
I'm still really not liking the whole "touch screen" smart phone. It doesn't "touch" where I touch it. It's always a few milimeters off. If they're going to make the touch buttons that darn tiny they should work on calibrating the sensors. I'm tired of typing text messages half a letter to the right to get them to make any sense. Otherwise, my text messages "qiyls kiij kujw rgua" ("would look like this"). Irritating.
Funny Things Patients (or their family) say and/or do.
"I've only had two beers." HA! Tell that to your car we're attempting to peel out of a tree, or reassemble like a jig saw puzzle, or disassemble with the jaws of life....
Spouse-angrily, to me, while I'm listening to his wife's lungs. "You don't understand asthma." Really? Then why did you call me? You've got three cars in your driveway and a valid drivers license, YOU take her.
Pt's mom, "I put the cream on the rash at noon today, and he's been fussy that it burns ever since." ...it is NOW 4am and pt (toddler) is sound asleep on her shoulder, but she wants him transported...by ambulance...to the ER...for.........?
Frequent flyer pt: "I just want some pain medicine, I hurt so bad." (This is her usual complaint) she continues "can't y'all give me something?" We respond, "Ibuprofen?" she responds, "If they put me in the front I'm just gonna sign myself out." We respond, "Then why do you want to go?" She responds, "It's all those other people that go to the ER for no good reason that make the wait so long!" Ah, sweet irony.
VERY heavy lady with a sinus infection who literally can't sit up in her bed without assistance, calling all of her friends with the succinct message, "Ahhh, Diva's Down! Diva's down..."
Pt: "I think I'm having an allergic reaction to a cat." Nurse: "where was the cat, did it touch you?" Pt: "No, I saw it cross the yard. I just want to make sure I'm not having trouble breathing." ...................
"Do you have any medical problems?" "No." "Do you take any medications on a regular basis?" "Yes. Lisinopril, HCTZ, Synthroid, Zoloft, Crestor, Insulin..." (Translation: Hypertension, hypothyroidism, depression, hyperlipidemia, diabetes...)
AH, and I had forgotten about this one. Assault call where patient was in back with my partner (pt had injured knee or something) and pt's girlfriend rode up front with me and regaled me with the whole convoluted often changing story. It ended with her deciding to check into the ER herself for a bite to her toes from a vicious stripper....yup, vicious stripper toe bites.
That's all for now :)
Monday, December 19, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Post Delay
I'm trying to be more consistent posting, but I am having definite writers block. Well, not truly writers block, I have no trouble writing, but I don't wish to post something wholey uninteresting to anyone except me. So, here are some unadorned snippets-or Friffles-floating around in my head.
-Someone decorated the inside of one of the ambulances with Christmas lights. Awesome.
-The more pages I scrapbook in a row, the harder it is to make them creative. I know if I put up my scrapbooking stuff for a month or so my creative juices will have replenished. I am at war with myself between the desire to get them finished and the desire for them to look nice.
-The closer it gets to Christmas, the longer my shifts at work seem to take.
-I've already started working on my New Years Resolutions list.
-This is the 2nd week of three that Brian's been doing combatives at work. I'll be happy when they're over so he can move normally and without wincing. For once, he has more bruises from his work than I do from mine.
-I've had no "interesting calls" at work for a few months now and it's getting tedious. I can't tell if I'm getting jaded or simply having a streak of boring luck.
- I'm making a "Pros and Cons" list about moving back to VA in August to try and be cheerful about the idea. (You guessed it, the cons right now vastly out weigh the pros)
Thats all for now, hopefully something post worthy will happen within the next few days...
-Someone decorated the inside of one of the ambulances with Christmas lights. Awesome.
-The more pages I scrapbook in a row, the harder it is to make them creative. I know if I put up my scrapbooking stuff for a month or so my creative juices will have replenished. I am at war with myself between the desire to get them finished and the desire for them to look nice.
-The closer it gets to Christmas, the longer my shifts at work seem to take.
-I've already started working on my New Years Resolutions list.
-This is the 2nd week of three that Brian's been doing combatives at work. I'll be happy when they're over so he can move normally and without wincing. For once, he has more bruises from his work than I do from mine.
-I've had no "interesting calls" at work for a few months now and it's getting tedious. I can't tell if I'm getting jaded or simply having a streak of boring luck.
- I'm making a "Pros and Cons" list about moving back to VA in August to try and be cheerful about the idea. (You guessed it, the cons right now vastly out weigh the pros)
Thats all for now, hopefully something post worthy will happen within the next few days...
Friday, December 9, 2011
Mind's Eye
I've been wanting to do this for awhile and I finally found the time. Below is my "month wheel" which is how I see the calander year in my mind. I can't place the months in a timeline (thats just awkward) or even spread them out evenly. The rendition isn't perfect- it's a 3D ring, like a tube,for one thing, also August is really a gold color and the light pink for May should be brighter (it looks dirty to me in Paint) and January is silver on the edges bluring into white in the middle- but it does a pretty good job of their sizes in my head relative to each other. This is how I've seen the months for as long as I can remember, and when I plan things throughout the year I literally think of them in spatial relation to each other on this wheel. So, seriously, I always feel busier in the fall. When I was a kid I used to love how Christmas and my birthday were evenly at top and bottom of the wheel and for the longest time I thought they were six months apart simply because they bisected the wheel. Took me a bit to figure out there were six months between them on the right and only four on the left.
Oh, and I put the colors for some of the numbers on the bottom too. No idea why some colors repeat in numbers and others stand alone. 17 is the same color as October (a slightly darker blue than seven). Seven is an exhausted number, nine is arrogant and flashy, three is logical and straightforward, sometimes boring. If you put any of those numbers in a different color (especially if you switch their colors, like making 2 red and 3 yellow) I get a little confused sorting them out.
-I have no idea why April takes forever.
-Purple is one of my favorite colors but I detest the month of February.
-August and September sometime seem to occupy the same space in my mind, like I can't seperate them as two distinctive months unless I'm thinking specifically about one of them. For example, if I'm thinking about June (and thus I see the rest of the wheel out of the "corner of my eye" so to speak. I can't take the months out of the wheel) August and September are just kindof a blurry spot below July and before October.
-In my mind, November is the shortest month of the year.
If I have memories specific to a month or season, they occur in my mind in the correct place for the time frame. For instance, when I got hired at Penn State as campus police it was in June, so when I think about the hiring process or those first few jobs I did directing traffic, the hazy memories take place in the green areas of the calender, in the upper-mid right cornor of my mind. When I think about jumping into Hideaway Lake with Brian in February, that memory plays out in the mid-bottom left, where February is located. Emma happened directly Left- I think thats pretty cool.
Anyway, this is probably of no or very little interest to anyone else, but it's kinda fun to me especially since it was only a little over a year ago that I found out that the "color thing" I do was synesthesia and not something everyone else did as well.
Oh, and I put the colors for some of the numbers on the bottom too. No idea why some colors repeat in numbers and others stand alone. 17 is the same color as October (a slightly darker blue than seven). Seven is an exhausted number, nine is arrogant and flashy, three is logical and straightforward, sometimes boring. If you put any of those numbers in a different color (especially if you switch their colors, like making 2 red and 3 yellow) I get a little confused sorting them out.
-I have no idea why April takes forever.
-Purple is one of my favorite colors but I detest the month of February.
-August and September sometime seem to occupy the same space in my mind, like I can't seperate them as two distinctive months unless I'm thinking specifically about one of them. For example, if I'm thinking about June (and thus I see the rest of the wheel out of the "corner of my eye" so to speak. I can't take the months out of the wheel) August and September are just kindof a blurry spot below July and before October.
-In my mind, November is the shortest month of the year.
If I have memories specific to a month or season, they occur in my mind in the correct place for the time frame. For instance, when I got hired at Penn State as campus police it was in June, so when I think about the hiring process or those first few jobs I did directing traffic, the hazy memories take place in the green areas of the calender, in the upper-mid right cornor of my mind. When I think about jumping into Hideaway Lake with Brian in February, that memory plays out in the mid-bottom left, where February is located. Emma happened directly Left- I think thats pretty cool.
Anyway, this is probably of no or very little interest to anyone else, but it's kinda fun to me especially since it was only a little over a year ago that I found out that the "color thing" I do was synesthesia and not something everyone else did as well.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
EMS Christmas.
Sometimes I get bored on the ambulance. Even in the midst of running calls I occasionally have to cudgel my brain into focusing on the task at hand instead of meandering off on it's own. Sometimes those meanderings bear pretty interesting fruit, and lately, I've been stuck on Christmas Carols. So not only do I blow the air horn in rhythm with my favorite carols while driving lights and sirens (Jingle Bells is especially effective) I've come to making up some specifically EMS related variations to the classics relevent to the calls we receive in abundance this time of year.
"There's No Place like Psych for the Holidays
So if you're feeling stressed out or alone
A strip search, bed, and gown are all yours for free
For the holidays theres no place like Psych Zone!"
"Tis the Season for Drunk Drivers
Fala lala la, lala, la, la,
Coming home from Christmas Parties
Fala lala la la, lala, la la
Hitting curbs and trees and fences
Falala, falala, la la la
Neighbors call the ambulances
Falalalala, lala, la, la"
"Santa Baby, slip a lawyer under the tree,
for me
I've been an awful good boy
Santa baby, and hurry to the precinct tonight
Santa Baby, a get away car with rims that spin,
I'll wait up for you here, Santa Baby
so hurry to the precinct tonight.
Think of all the jobs I've missed
Think of all the people that I haven't hit
Next year I could be on parol
If you check off my Christmas List, boo doo bee doo"
I admit the lyrics are pretty horrible, but they are entertaining to think up at work. I'll post more if I come up with any additional. Any other suggestions on how to keep in the Holiday spirit at work without getting fired?
"There's No Place like Psych for the Holidays
So if you're feeling stressed out or alone
A strip search, bed, and gown are all yours for free
For the holidays theres no place like Psych Zone!"
"Tis the Season for Drunk Drivers
Fala lala la, lala, la, la,
Coming home from Christmas Parties
Fala lala la la, lala, la la
Hitting curbs and trees and fences
Falala, falala, la la la
Neighbors call the ambulances
Falalalala, lala, la, la"
"Santa Baby, slip a lawyer under the tree,
for me
I've been an awful good boy
Santa baby, and hurry to the precinct tonight
Santa Baby, a get away car with rims that spin,
I'll wait up for you here, Santa Baby
so hurry to the precinct tonight.
Think of all the jobs I've missed
Think of all the people that I haven't hit
Next year I could be on parol
If you check off my Christmas List, boo doo bee doo"
I admit the lyrics are pretty horrible, but they are entertaining to think up at work. I'll post more if I come up with any additional. Any other suggestions on how to keep in the Holiday spirit at work without getting fired?
Monday, December 5, 2011
Reverse Psychology, cornoring the grumpy market
My point for this post is that I love the magic of Christmas, but I often struggle to enjoy it due to the stress and depression that clouds this time of year. For the past few years I've taken out some of my grumpyness on Christmas music. I mean seriously, who needs to listen to "Jingle Bells" for three weeks? I still draw the line at people preparing for Christmas PRE -Thanksgiving (be thankful before greedy, people) and that includes playing Christmas music, but after Thanksgiving? Well...three weeks doesn't seem like such a long time anymore. As I was rolling into work blasting "There's No Place like Home for the Holiday's" I realized a big turn in my mood towards Christmas music is due to my work environment.
Let me fill you in on a well known EMS fact. EMS workers are GRUMPY! And boy do I mean grumpy. They rant about calls going to them and after dropping the patient off. They rant about co-workers, they rant about small paychecks, and in this season of increasing money draining stress, it seems everyone has ramped up their grumpyness several notches. At first, I sank right into the persuasive grumpy feelings, after all, I've been starting my annual grumpyness cycle in December for years. Usually I had to fight the annoying stream of holiday fervor, but here was a place where grumpyness was extolled! EMS has a good chance of cornoring the grumpy market this year, and I was happily wallowing in fellow feelings. Unfortunately, within a few days I realized how my work time grumpyness had exploded way past normal limits and was bleeding into my home life with Brian and Remus. Thats when I started listening to Christmas music on my way to work.
A little grumpyness is ok, but when it starts making me irritable and quick to anger it's time to reconsider. Being angry is such a miserable feeling, even righteous anger, for me, holds zero charm. Anger means conflict, conflict gives me a stomach ache and usually makes me want to hide under a rock. Why would I want to encourage a way of thinking that leads to perpetual anger? Yuck! Perish the thought! Since I am stuck in a grumpy environment for 12 hour shifts- more grumpyness than even seasonally depressed me knows what to do with- I've decided to be UNgrumpy especially in regards to Christmas. Cue the music! I have embraced the holiday good cheer with a vengence, amping myself up on Christmas tunes and decorating my mantel with ornament bedecked reindeer. I'm constructing a red reindeer harness for Remus complete with silver bells, and considered wearing ribbon in my hair to work just to aggravate the Grinches. It seems the cure for my sinking into winter blues is not to try and cheer me up, but rather to out miserable me.
So, bring on the mistletoe and garlands! Instead of annoying me, I now sing along to Christmas songs on my commute to and from work. I think the true reason for my mood swing may be that it is far easier to be truly thankful for Christ coming into this world when the world I'm surrounded by needs Him so badly!
That said, there are still a few Carols that necessitate changing the chanel instantly, favorites are songs like "Mary did you Know?" And other Christ focused classics (Silent Night, Hark, the Herald Angels Sing, Away in a Manger...) along with the fun "Baby, it's Cold Outside", "Santa Baby" and "Let it Snow". Songs I can't stand listening to include anything by Alvin and the Chipmunks, Jingle Bell Hop (that one is just mildly irksome) and my all time, least favorite carol- with lyrics that rival Rebecca Black's "Friday" for stupidest in existence-"Do you Hear what I Hear?"
Anyone else have favorite/least favorite carols? Any other people/work environments that you think may cornor the grumpy market?
Let me fill you in on a well known EMS fact. EMS workers are GRUMPY! And boy do I mean grumpy. They rant about calls going to them and after dropping the patient off. They rant about co-workers, they rant about small paychecks, and in this season of increasing money draining stress, it seems everyone has ramped up their grumpyness several notches. At first, I sank right into the persuasive grumpy feelings, after all, I've been starting my annual grumpyness cycle in December for years. Usually I had to fight the annoying stream of holiday fervor, but here was a place where grumpyness was extolled! EMS has a good chance of cornoring the grumpy market this year, and I was happily wallowing in fellow feelings. Unfortunately, within a few days I realized how my work time grumpyness had exploded way past normal limits and was bleeding into my home life with Brian and Remus. Thats when I started listening to Christmas music on my way to work.
A little grumpyness is ok, but when it starts making me irritable and quick to anger it's time to reconsider. Being angry is such a miserable feeling, even righteous anger, for me, holds zero charm. Anger means conflict, conflict gives me a stomach ache and usually makes me want to hide under a rock. Why would I want to encourage a way of thinking that leads to perpetual anger? Yuck! Perish the thought! Since I am stuck in a grumpy environment for 12 hour shifts- more grumpyness than even seasonally depressed me knows what to do with- I've decided to be UNgrumpy especially in regards to Christmas. Cue the music! I have embraced the holiday good cheer with a vengence, amping myself up on Christmas tunes and decorating my mantel with ornament bedecked reindeer. I'm constructing a red reindeer harness for Remus complete with silver bells, and considered wearing ribbon in my hair to work just to aggravate the Grinches. It seems the cure for my sinking into winter blues is not to try and cheer me up, but rather to out miserable me.
So, bring on the mistletoe and garlands! Instead of annoying me, I now sing along to Christmas songs on my commute to and from work. I think the true reason for my mood swing may be that it is far easier to be truly thankful for Christ coming into this world when the world I'm surrounded by needs Him so badly!
That said, there are still a few Carols that necessitate changing the chanel instantly, favorites are songs like "Mary did you Know?" And other Christ focused classics (Silent Night, Hark, the Herald Angels Sing, Away in a Manger...) along with the fun "Baby, it's Cold Outside", "Santa Baby" and "Let it Snow". Songs I can't stand listening to include anything by Alvin and the Chipmunks, Jingle Bell Hop (that one is just mildly irksome) and my all time, least favorite carol- with lyrics that rival Rebecca Black's "Friday" for stupidest in existence-"Do you Hear what I Hear?"
Anyone else have favorite/least favorite carols? Any other people/work environments that you think may cornor the grumpy market?
Sunday, November 27, 2011
My Schmuck List
I am shamelessly stealing this idea from my sister's blog post, here. So, without further ado, here are my answers to the question "what are you thankful for this year?" in no particular order.
"Of All The Things I Could Say, I Chose Something Tiny and Significant Only To Me."
1. A sister and a cousin-in-law(?) from whom I can steal blog post ideas and pictures
2. A husband who still loves me as we head into the time of year when I bring "tempermental" to a whole new meaning
3. Remus
4. Finally feeling "settled" as a paramedic
5. The fact that I like my job
6. That Rebecca and Emma turned out just fine, haha. In all seriousness, Emma's birth scared me, so I am VERY grateful that they are both happy and healthy.
7. That Brian came home from Iraq two months early
8. Skype
9. My garden bathtub and plenty of hot water
10. Books I still love re-reading
11. Having paid off over $25,000 worth of my student loans
12. My green striped room
13. Military Discounts
14. After hearing about countless "relationship issues" especially at work and from Brian's fellow soldiers I am a million times thankful that God has blessed us with such an easy, fantastic marriage.15. 15. Caramel Frappe's w/o whipped cream or drizzle
16. Raven Rock Park- ten minutes from our house are actual trails for us to run. I hate running on pavement.
17. The sheep farm I pass on my way to and from work. Sheep are so cute all tromping around together, I look for the flock every time I go by.
18. The Prius- we bought it for the gas mileage, but I have completely fallen in love with it. Make all the jokes you want, I can pass you on the highway and STILL not have to fill up for over 420 miles. AND my dog fits in the back with room to spare.
19. TriCare and USAA-I can watch insurance commercials battle it out on TV and chose which one I like best solely on how much they make me laugh.
20. My 40 minute commute. I often spend it in prayer or talking to family/friends. Those 40 minutes are a blessing in disguise.
"Of All The Things I Could Say, I Chose Something Tiny and Significant Only To Me."
1. A sister and a cousin-in-law(?) from whom I can steal blog post ideas and pictures
2. A husband who still loves me as we head into the time of year when I bring "tempermental" to a whole new meaning
3. Remus
4. Finally feeling "settled" as a paramedic
5. The fact that I like my job
6. That Rebecca and Emma turned out just fine, haha. In all seriousness, Emma's birth scared me, so I am VERY grateful that they are both happy and healthy.
7. That Brian came home from Iraq two months early
8. Skype
9. My garden bathtub and plenty of hot water
10. Books I still love re-reading
11. Having paid off over $25,000 worth of my student loans
12. My green striped room
13. Military Discounts
14. After hearing about countless "relationship issues" especially at work and from Brian's fellow soldiers I am a million times thankful that God has blessed us with such an easy, fantastic marriage.15. 15. Caramel Frappe's w/o whipped cream or drizzle
16. Raven Rock Park- ten minutes from our house are actual trails for us to run. I hate running on pavement.
17. The sheep farm I pass on my way to and from work. Sheep are so cute all tromping around together, I look for the flock every time I go by.
18. The Prius- we bought it for the gas mileage, but I have completely fallen in love with it. Make all the jokes you want, I can pass you on the highway and STILL not have to fill up for over 420 miles. AND my dog fits in the back with room to spare.
19. TriCare and USAA-I can watch insurance commercials battle it out on TV and chose which one I like best solely on how much they make me laugh.
20. My 40 minute commute. I often spend it in prayer or talking to family/friends. Those 40 minutes are a blessing in disguise.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Male Menopause
Mood changes, lack of interest, diet preference shifts...I am attempting to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for my dog's up and coming menopause. Ok, ok, the analgoy breaks down pretty quickly, Remus can't have MENOpause because he's never had menstraution, and menopause usually refers to a decrease in Estrogen not the upswing my little man is going to experience BUT as far as a comparison of wide hormonal shifts that can cause a drastic change in aspects of energy and mood it's a pretty spot on analogy.
I dutifully crawled out of bed, threw on jeans and a t-shirt, and hauled my hungry, spastic (but freshly bathed) wolfhound to the vet. There was another dog already in the waiting room and--a bunny. Remus always goes a little crazy at the vet wanting to say hi to every creature, human and otherwise, today was no exception. However even for him he was more whiney than usual (scared of the bunny?), it was as if he knew that this wasn't a regular visit. I managed to haul him a safe distance away from the bunny and he promptly climbed into my lap and started shedding. Then someone brought in two cats in a crate. Veterinarian waiting rooms either need to be bigger or they should be better at scheduling. (How about alternate days for dogs and cats?)
The other dog was removed and then it was Remus's turn. In a place swarming with female techs they sent out the one and only male. Remus doesn't like men, he went nuts. At one point he climbed back over the benches to get to me, knocking off a majority of the cushions. I had to walk with him to the scale and pushed on his rump to get him to follow the tech to the back. Usually at the vet he's spastic because he's just so happy and excited, and he knocks into everyone indescriminantely with his happily flailing tail. Today, his tail was tucked so far between his legs I'm surprised he didn't step on it.
Guilt set in with a vengence. I had flashbacks to the first time I took him to the vet, he weighed 8 lbs and actually mostly fit in my lap. He was nervous when they lifted him on the table. He calmly accepted all his shots but objected fiercely to the thermometer. And the vet laughed as she examined him and said he had a very large pair. Now, at a year and a half, Remus will lose his manhood.
I know it's "veterinarian recommended". I know noone would probably be interested in breeding my gangly doofus dog. I know this might fix his digging up my front yard and his occasional bursts of excessive energy. I know it's the right thing to do. I still feel like a horrible person.
I dutifully crawled out of bed, threw on jeans and a t-shirt, and hauled my hungry, spastic (but freshly bathed) wolfhound to the vet. There was another dog already in the waiting room and--a bunny. Remus always goes a little crazy at the vet wanting to say hi to every creature, human and otherwise, today was no exception. However even for him he was more whiney than usual (scared of the bunny?), it was as if he knew that this wasn't a regular visit. I managed to haul him a safe distance away from the bunny and he promptly climbed into my lap and started shedding. Then someone brought in two cats in a crate. Veterinarian waiting rooms either need to be bigger or they should be better at scheduling. (How about alternate days for dogs and cats?)
The other dog was removed and then it was Remus's turn. In a place swarming with female techs they sent out the one and only male. Remus doesn't like men, he went nuts. At one point he climbed back over the benches to get to me, knocking off a majority of the cushions. I had to walk with him to the scale and pushed on his rump to get him to follow the tech to the back. Usually at the vet he's spastic because he's just so happy and excited, and he knocks into everyone indescriminantely with his happily flailing tail. Today, his tail was tucked so far between his legs I'm surprised he didn't step on it.
Guilt set in with a vengence. I had flashbacks to the first time I took him to the vet, he weighed 8 lbs and actually mostly fit in my lap. He was nervous when they lifted him on the table. He calmly accepted all his shots but objected fiercely to the thermometer. And the vet laughed as she examined him and said he had a very large pair. Now, at a year and a half, Remus will lose his manhood.
I know it's "veterinarian recommended". I know noone would probably be interested in breeding my gangly doofus dog. I know this might fix his digging up my front yard and his occasional bursts of excessive energy. I know it's the right thing to do. I still feel like a horrible person.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Golf
I am not an avid sports fan. To be blunt, I think they're boring to watch. Dance, I like, and even the endless recitals and competitions I attended in support of my little sister has not completely dampened my enthusiasm. Same goes with live theater, musicals, art museums, a whole host of things many people find boring but I enjoy. I am by no means trying to say sports are pointless or mindless and, in fact, I think society as a whole could benefit from a lot more of people participating in sports instead of just watching them-I'm all about exercise. However, I draw the line at golf.
It is, I submit, the most boring game ever invented. Chess matches are more exciting, at least the timed ones. Baseball is high on my list of "most boring sports ever" but I submit watching someone run an Ultra Marathon would also be tedious. (Heck, RUNNING the Ultra Marathon is boring at times.) Oh, and Nascar is definitely on the list as well, but back to golf. I think where golf ultimately fails for me is the lack of obvious physical effort. Yes, it takes some fine motor memory to perfect your "swing" or whatever, and a certain amount of strength for those "long drives" but honestly, you can't convince me that golfers are athletes. They don't even walk the course for goodness sake, they drive there lazy selves around in carts and have someone else carry their clubs! I submit highschool cheerleaders get more of a workout at your average highschool football game. Sheesh, half of the game revolves around the height and coarseness of GRASS.
I'm not saying golf does not require skill, it does, and lots of measuring the wind, but it seems to me such a pointless skill. At least most sports have a bit of cardiovascular effort that helps keep someone healthy. Brian likes golf. He can even watch it on TV without falling asleep. He tried to explain how the challenge with all the variables of grass and weather and "conditions" and the course and which clubs to use made the sport some how interesting and as a good wife I nod, and agree, and go find something else to do. I can see, if I squint my mental interest meter really tightly, how golf might be interesting to some people, but I fear it will remain forever on the top of my boring list. I could rant more, but I'll let Robin Williams do so, he is far more persuasive.
It is, I submit, the most boring game ever invented. Chess matches are more exciting, at least the timed ones. Baseball is high on my list of "most boring sports ever" but I submit watching someone run an Ultra Marathon would also be tedious. (Heck, RUNNING the Ultra Marathon is boring at times.) Oh, and Nascar is definitely on the list as well, but back to golf. I think where golf ultimately fails for me is the lack of obvious physical effort. Yes, it takes some fine motor memory to perfect your "swing" or whatever, and a certain amount of strength for those "long drives" but honestly, you can't convince me that golfers are athletes. They don't even walk the course for goodness sake, they drive there lazy selves around in carts and have someone else carry their clubs! I submit highschool cheerleaders get more of a workout at your average highschool football game. Sheesh, half of the game revolves around the height and coarseness of GRASS.
I'm not saying golf does not require skill, it does, and lots of measuring the wind, but it seems to me such a pointless skill. At least most sports have a bit of cardiovascular effort that helps keep someone healthy. Brian likes golf. He can even watch it on TV without falling asleep. He tried to explain how the challenge with all the variables of grass and weather and "conditions" and the course and which clubs to use made the sport some how interesting and as a good wife I nod, and agree, and go find something else to do. I can see, if I squint my mental interest meter really tightly, how golf might be interesting to some people, but I fear it will remain forever on the top of my boring list. I could rant more, but I'll let Robin Williams do so, he is far more persuasive.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Partnerships
Everyone has been in that annoying situation where a task is set and you are supposed to accomplish said task with the help of one, or multiple, complete strangers. Ok, maybe not complete strangers, maybe just a seldom talked to classmate, a co-worker you know by sight but your seperate "circles" don't "co-mingle". In any case, you are now going to be spending undetermined amount of hours with this individual (or individuals) working on a project that is important to complete well (whether for a good grade or for the simple sake of not getting fired). Novels could be written about the frustrations that result.
I submit that riding an ambulance offers up a deeper and often more complicated forced relationship. It is not just a project that has an eventual end, it is your job. Every shift. Every day. Every week. Every month. You get the picture. I have had a wide range of partnerships on the ambulance-from obssessive compulsive to lazy, from politically incensed (lots of NPR) to the pregnant and hormonal- but my most recent partnership brings a certain something extra to the table. In a nutshell, he farts. Constantly.
My partner is an excellent medic, with more experience than I and a wonderful easy going personality that makes the ride enjoyable. He likes to game (PSP, XBox, WoW), is a sucker for the adoption fairs at PetsMart, and is devoted to his "woman" as he affectionately calls her. My last partner and I had a rough initial two weeks, she doesn't warm up to people very quickly and I was no exception. We were also polar opposites which didn't make matters easier. My partner now, however, is very comfortable easing into the partnership role. Maybe a little too comfortable.
My first night on the ambulance he started talking about farting. Too late I received a text message from his woman warning me to establish a "no fart policy" ASAP. At this point, my fellow medic had already stepped outside of the ambulance multiple times to relieve himself of some extra pressure. I began learning about his reputation for clearing out entire Fire Departments after using the facilities. He told me unabashedly that he had bowel surgery as a small child and the variety of sounds and smells he now produced was a long standing side effect.
Since then, I have been subjected to the widest array of farting noises I have ever encountered from one human being. He could be his own museum. Artillary fire, tractors, the revving of motorcycle engines, trumpets, pig squeals, splats, rumbles, groans, you name it. So far he has only let loose the quieter, but far more potent ones, inside the ambulance a handful of times. Often he is cat-napping, and apparently the rule is he can't be held accountable for anything that happens when he is asleep. Convinient. If he's awake, and it's silent (a rarity in and of itself) he can't help but giggle within the first few seconds so I get a warning.
So next time you bemoan a partnership, just think to yourself. Is it 12 hours at a time, every day (or in my case night) you work, for months on end? Are you forced by the nature of your job to spend the majority of those 12 hours in the cab of a vehicle with said partner? Does your partner have non-stop flatulance issues? No? Quit whining.
I submit that riding an ambulance offers up a deeper and often more complicated forced relationship. It is not just a project that has an eventual end, it is your job. Every shift. Every day. Every week. Every month. You get the picture. I have had a wide range of partnerships on the ambulance-from obssessive compulsive to lazy, from politically incensed (lots of NPR) to the pregnant and hormonal- but my most recent partnership brings a certain something extra to the table. In a nutshell, he farts. Constantly.
My partner is an excellent medic, with more experience than I and a wonderful easy going personality that makes the ride enjoyable. He likes to game (PSP, XBox, WoW), is a sucker for the adoption fairs at PetsMart, and is devoted to his "woman" as he affectionately calls her. My last partner and I had a rough initial two weeks, she doesn't warm up to people very quickly and I was no exception. We were also polar opposites which didn't make matters easier. My partner now, however, is very comfortable easing into the partnership role. Maybe a little too comfortable.
My first night on the ambulance he started talking about farting. Too late I received a text message from his woman warning me to establish a "no fart policy" ASAP. At this point, my fellow medic had already stepped outside of the ambulance multiple times to relieve himself of some extra pressure. I began learning about his reputation for clearing out entire Fire Departments after using the facilities. He told me unabashedly that he had bowel surgery as a small child and the variety of sounds and smells he now produced was a long standing side effect.
Since then, I have been subjected to the widest array of farting noises I have ever encountered from one human being. He could be his own museum. Artillary fire, tractors, the revving of motorcycle engines, trumpets, pig squeals, splats, rumbles, groans, you name it. So far he has only let loose the quieter, but far more potent ones, inside the ambulance a handful of times. Often he is cat-napping, and apparently the rule is he can't be held accountable for anything that happens when he is asleep. Convinient. If he's awake, and it's silent (a rarity in and of itself) he can't help but giggle within the first few seconds so I get a warning.
So next time you bemoan a partnership, just think to yourself. Is it 12 hours at a time, every day (or in my case night) you work, for months on end? Are you forced by the nature of your job to spend the majority of those 12 hours in the cab of a vehicle with said partner? Does your partner have non-stop flatulance issues? No? Quit whining.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Constellations
Being nocturnal has it's perks for me. I love the night sky. The moon and stars are beautiful and I like how starkly impersonal they are. I've heard the starry sky described as "unfeeling" and "aloof" but these all have negatvie connotations in my mind. Stars simply are. To me, they are a reminder of a universe much grander than me, and a God who loves insignificant me enough to provide a grand universe to explore. Since middle school I've loved constellations. Orion is my favorite, he's the easiest one for me to pluck out of the sky regardless of season, and he actually looks somewhat like a hunter (the whole shoulders, knees, swordbelt...much better than Ursa Minor which looks nothing like a bear).
Big Dipper is kinda upside down dontchya think? FYI this was one of the only pictures I could find that was close to how the Big Dipper appears every time I've managed to locate it. I have YET to see it with the dipper bowl facing up, which is how all the other websites and images present it. Maybe it's just the wrong season, or wrong time at night when I catch a glimpse. ( I wonder how many boy scout troops host star gazing at 2am when it's 30 degrees outside).
Now every time I get out of the ambulance I throw a quick glance heavenward to see what I can see. I literally can only take at the most five seconds, and I'm usually walking as I look (dangerous, I know) but so far I've managed to locate the Big Dipper reliably 3 times. Sometimes I can't see it because of the city lights or tree line, but with Orion easily visable in the South, I know when I spin 180 degrees that the Big Dipper should be there.
Naturally, after I start consistently finding the Big Dipper I'll start working on the Little Dipper, and then it's back to nailing down the horoscope signs. One of these days I'm gonna invest in a telescope...
Anybody else have any favorite constellations?
Well I've slowly expanded my constellation knowledge since my middle school years and I can now quickly locate pleiades, taurus, and casseopeia, and sometimes gemini, leo, and scorpio. But one frustrating constellation has always been Ursa Major...aka, the Big Dipper. Technically, the Big Dipper part is only half of the actual constellation Ursa Major, but I assumed if I could locate the Big Dipper it would literally just be "connecting the dots" to fill in the rest of Ursa Major.
My internet search compounded my irritation because all the sites kept repeating "one of the easiest constellations to find" "Often taught to young children" "Boyscouts learn the Big and Little Dipper early in order to locate the North Star..." Well it's not so gosh darn easy to find! It wasn't until I hit on a website (and I apologize, I don't have the link to it) that said the Big Dipper and Casseopeia revolve around the North Star and the Big Dipper appears on it's tail that I finally found the elusive constellation.
Big Dipper is kinda upside down dontchya think? FYI this was one of the only pictures I could find that was close to how the Big Dipper appears every time I've managed to locate it. I have YET to see it with the dipper bowl facing up, which is how all the other websites and images present it. Maybe it's just the wrong season, or wrong time at night when I catch a glimpse. ( I wonder how many boy scout troops host star gazing at 2am when it's 30 degrees outside).
Now every time I get out of the ambulance I throw a quick glance heavenward to see what I can see. I literally can only take at the most five seconds, and I'm usually walking as I look (dangerous, I know) but so far I've managed to locate the Big Dipper reliably 3 times. Sometimes I can't see it because of the city lights or tree line, but with Orion easily visable in the South, I know when I spin 180 degrees that the Big Dipper should be there.
Naturally, after I start consistently finding the Big Dipper I'll start working on the Little Dipper, and then it's back to nailing down the horoscope signs. One of these days I'm gonna invest in a telescope...
Anybody else have any favorite constellations?
Monday, November 7, 2011
Internet Fail
I'm pretty horrible at the whole social networking thing and I don't know if I should be dissappointed in myself or proud. I've been pretty much absent from the blogging/facebooking/twittering world for the past few weeks and I can't say I was really heartbroken about it. Now, granted, I had a good excuse, and I'm sure as things settle down I'll get back into the swing of things, but to anyone who still reads this blog, I apologize for my considerable inconsistency.
In other news, Brian is HOME! Thats what has been distracting me for the past few weeks and it has been a fantastic distraction. I'll try and update with interesting tidbits a little later on, I just wanted to let people know I'm still alive and will try to revive my blogging. I will say I kind of missed reading everyone elses blogs. I think I'm finally caught up. :)
In other news, Brian is HOME! Thats what has been distracting me for the past few weeks and it has been a fantastic distraction. I'll try and update with interesting tidbits a little later on, I just wanted to let people know I'm still alive and will try to revive my blogging. I will say I kind of missed reading everyone elses blogs. I think I'm finally caught up. :)
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Ugly Babies
I've made it very clear to any who know me that I think babies are, for the most part, pretty darn ugly. Well, I think I should clarify, since the term "baby" usually applies to any human from about newborn to 1-2 years. No, I think "toddlers" are for the most part adorable, it's newborns that I think are rather unattractive. I was all nervous about seeing my neice for the first time, wondering if I should tell a small white lie and say "awww how cute!" to affirm that I really was excited about her presence and didn't wish to offend the parents (whom I would have to see at family funcitons for the rest of our collective lives...) or if I should just be blunt and tell them I was happy for them but I thought their daughter resembled a mutated squash. I don't like lying, so you can imagine how I agonized on the three hour drive to the hospital.
My niece? Super cute. I was dumbfounded (and very relieved). Did she still resemble a wrinkled mutated alien squash? Yup. But she was (and is) precious. I finally "get" all those pictures of babies that people obsess over. Now, I think she became a thousand times cuter at about 2 months, when she just seemed to have a little more form and shape to her tiny unproportional body (well, maybe not so tiny in her case...) and now she's just pretty much too cute to adequately describe with words. This has made me realize that when I talk about "ugly babies" I really mean "newborns". In Emma's favor, she was a c-section baby (no squished head) and was of substantial size (no 6 pound premie), but also, most importantly, I had a huge vested interest in her existence as I am her Aunt and godmother. She probably could've had a pumpkin stem growing out one ear and I honestly would've thought her adorable.
Long story short: other newborns? Still ugly. If I do a little side step in my mind and try to look at newborn pictures from the family's point of view I can scrape up a pretty genuine sounding "aww she/he's cute". Some of them really are so ugly they're sortof endearing, but mostly I wait until they've fleshed out and "normalized' a bit before I start laying on the praise.
Now, here comes the fun part. If I ever have kids, and go picture crazy like a good parent should, I think I'll take pictures of him/her next to ugly mutated looking squash. Forget trying to make him/her cute by masking the alien look with pastel colors and cutesy animal prints, piled up with flowers and stuffed animals. Nope, it'll be stunted, dirt spattered veggies for my little darling. I don't mean the vibrant orange pumpkin patches, I might take pictures next to a bag of potatoes just to prove a point. Any children I have, of course, will all be the epitome of cute, but maybe someone subjected to my plastering those pictures all over every available webspace will get a kick out of how much my little cutie-wootey resembles lumpy vegetables.
My niece? Super cute. I was dumbfounded (and very relieved). Did she still resemble a wrinkled mutated alien squash? Yup. But she was (and is) precious. I finally "get" all those pictures of babies that people obsess over. Now, I think she became a thousand times cuter at about 2 months, when she just seemed to have a little more form and shape to her tiny unproportional body (well, maybe not so tiny in her case...) and now she's just pretty much too cute to adequately describe with words. This has made me realize that when I talk about "ugly babies" I really mean "newborns". In Emma's favor, she was a c-section baby (no squished head) and was of substantial size (no 6 pound premie), but also, most importantly, I had a huge vested interest in her existence as I am her Aunt and godmother. She probably could've had a pumpkin stem growing out one ear and I honestly would've thought her adorable.
Long story short: other newborns? Still ugly. If I do a little side step in my mind and try to look at newborn pictures from the family's point of view I can scrape up a pretty genuine sounding "aww she/he's cute". Some of them really are so ugly they're sortof endearing, but mostly I wait until they've fleshed out and "normalized' a bit before I start laying on the praise.
Now, here comes the fun part. If I ever have kids, and go picture crazy like a good parent should, I think I'll take pictures of him/her next to ugly mutated looking squash. Forget trying to make him/her cute by masking the alien look with pastel colors and cutesy animal prints, piled up with flowers and stuffed animals. Nope, it'll be stunted, dirt spattered veggies for my little darling. I don't mean the vibrant orange pumpkin patches, I might take pictures next to a bag of potatoes just to prove a point. Any children I have, of course, will all be the epitome of cute, but maybe someone subjected to my plastering those pictures all over every available webspace will get a kick out of how much my little cutie-wootey resembles lumpy vegetables.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Secrets
One of the hard things about being a military wife is keeping secrets. It wouldn't be so hard, except online venues practically demand that you share every significant event in your life at the top of cyber space lungs. I'm getting a bit better at internet suffocation.
That said, this past weekend was fantastic. Plenty of fun with Remus and Emma and Rebecca, my parents and my inlaws. It's always good to visit your hometown :) I watched the Brookville Marching Band Perform, the colorguard is being instructed by two very dedicated old students of mine. It was awesome to see what they had created, I'm so very proud :) Also found out that I'm going to need to get into some serious shape if I want an EMS job in Lynchburg because Ill have to cross train as a firefighter. Fire-woman? I was at first rather apprehensive, but several FD (Fire Department) co-workers have assuaged my concerns about being a female firefighter and have gone so far as to suggest I might actually be good at it. We shall see.
In other, probably boring news to the non health care provider, I took my ACLS refresher course today to learn the new AHA guidelines and FINALLY I feel vinidicated. Oxygen is no longer considered "harmless" No more of this "well, just put him on some O2, it can't hurt." Oh YES it can. A build up of too much oxygen in the blood causes a release of Free Radicals (anyone remember basic chemistry?) which then rocket around the body, honing in on damaged tissue and furthering the destruction in order to clean up the mess. In their proper place, Free Radicals act like scrubby bubbles to the body's equivelent bath scum, in excess, Free Radicals corrode through any weak tissue like acid. Putting a pt who is already at 100% SpO2 room air on 15lpm 02 NRB basically sends a demolition crew to whatever ischemic tissue is dying (i.e. The brain. Or the heart) You can literally kill people with too much O2, you at least significantly damage their future prognosis when they're having a stroke or STEMI. SO I am SO RIGHT when it comes to NOT putting every pt on oxygen just because an IV is established. That tradition is CRAP. A pt needs an IV in a STEMI, I don't think anyone can argue with that, but if the pt's SpO2 is 95% then highflow 02 can actually kill more cardiac tissue faster. Booyah.
This makes me irrationally happy. Other new ACLS guidelines make sense too, but this new look at the over use of oxygen ESPECIALLY in the pre-hospital setting is waaaaaaay past due.
Time for bed, I am so sleepy I have a headache from keeping my eyelids open. Picture post hopefully to come :)
**EDITED to include mention of the best older sister in the history of sisters :)
That said, this past weekend was fantastic. Plenty of fun with Remus and Emma and Rebecca, my parents and my inlaws. It's always good to visit your hometown :) I watched the Brookville Marching Band Perform, the colorguard is being instructed by two very dedicated old students of mine. It was awesome to see what they had created, I'm so very proud :) Also found out that I'm going to need to get into some serious shape if I want an EMS job in Lynchburg because Ill have to cross train as a firefighter. Fire-woman? I was at first rather apprehensive, but several FD (Fire Department) co-workers have assuaged my concerns about being a female firefighter and have gone so far as to suggest I might actually be good at it. We shall see.
In other, probably boring news to the non health care provider, I took my ACLS refresher course today to learn the new AHA guidelines and FINALLY I feel vinidicated. Oxygen is no longer considered "harmless" No more of this "well, just put him on some O2, it can't hurt." Oh YES it can. A build up of too much oxygen in the blood causes a release of Free Radicals (anyone remember basic chemistry?) which then rocket around the body, honing in on damaged tissue and furthering the destruction in order to clean up the mess. In their proper place, Free Radicals act like scrubby bubbles to the body's equivelent bath scum, in excess, Free Radicals corrode through any weak tissue like acid. Putting a pt who is already at 100% SpO2 room air on 15lpm 02 NRB basically sends a demolition crew to whatever ischemic tissue is dying (i.e. The brain. Or the heart) You can literally kill people with too much O2, you at least significantly damage their future prognosis when they're having a stroke or STEMI. SO I am SO RIGHT when it comes to NOT putting every pt on oxygen just because an IV is established. That tradition is CRAP. A pt needs an IV in a STEMI, I don't think anyone can argue with that, but if the pt's SpO2 is 95% then highflow 02 can actually kill more cardiac tissue faster. Booyah.
This makes me irrationally happy. Other new ACLS guidelines make sense too, but this new look at the over use of oxygen ESPECIALLY in the pre-hospital setting is waaaaaaay past due.
Time for bed, I am so sleepy I have a headache from keeping my eyelids open. Picture post hopefully to come :)
**EDITED to include mention of the best older sister in the history of sisters :)
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Running and work
I'm trying to get back in running shape. I've made progress in some areas and experiencing frustrating setbacks in others. Unfortunately, those setbacks are entirely outside my control. I run with Remus on my days off at Raven Rock, so far we do the 2.5 mile loop trail and then I finish with some lunges and stretching. From walking/running the trail about 50/50, I now barely stop to walk at all. I think yesterday I may have walked for a total of 4 minutes, and thats generous, I actually think I walked a lot less. I'm running most of the hills and my pace is faster than 10 minute mile, I'm happy. Soon I want to take Remus on the extended loop and make our run 4 miles.
Here comes setback number 1-I don't know how long I can run with Remus. I don't want to put any unneccessary strain on his joints especially since big dogs are prone to arthritis and other joint related problems, shoot he already has had surgery on his front leg. SO I'm gonna have to stop by the vet and get an estimate of how many miles is too many. Once I can no longer run with Remus I'm stuck by myself until Brian comes home. Running alone is not something I encourage girls to do, even at a public park. That leaves me the option of the treadmill, and the treadmill and I don't get along. It is tolerable, barely tolerable, to run on that thing for 2 miles, but anything longer than that and I'm going insane with boredom. Even with music on, or a movie on, and I can't read while running I bounce too much. The treadmill is the single most boring exercise I have ever endured, I don't think mentally I'll ever be able to run ten miles on it.
Setback number 2 also eats into my milage. I work 12 hour shifts and live 40 minutes away. Technically it's 12.5 hr shifts because we have to be there 30 minutes early to check off our ambulances. That means I'm away from the house for 14 hours, and thats if I get off on time. It takes me about an hour and a half to get ready on my own (cook myself dinner, shower, taking care of Remus etc) When Brian's home we can combine the cooking and me showering but he's not, so I do both tasks seperately. So if everything goes exactly according to plan, I have 8.5 hours to sleep between shifts. As you can see, I have very little wiggle room. I've already given up an hour of sleep so I can Skype with Brian so I'm down to 7.5. Most of the time I average less than that, because when I get home in the AM I have to take care of Remus again and make myself breakfast. I can't afford to run on the days I work, I'm already extremely short on sleep :( I just can't figure out a way to add a run in on the days I work, there just isn't enough time in the day.
Brian and I figure I need to be running 40 miles a week to get in shape for a 50k. On my long week I have 2 days off. On my short week I have 5. I could probably work up to a 40 mile week on my short week-5 mile run, then 12.5, then 5, then 12.5 then 5...But on my long week? 2 20mile runs back to back, the first one after working 12 hours? Not likely :/
So what does this mean? It means I'm frustrated. I want to run ultras again, I just don't see how I can work up to the appropriate mileage. Ah well, perhaps I'm borrowing trouble. Maybe after I talk to the vet she'll tell me Remus can run 15 miles without a problem and Brian will come home in November and instead of waking up early to Skype I can run 4 miles even on my work days and I'll be in shape in no time....
Who am I trying to kid? Even if Brian doesn't come home till January I'm not sure I'll be running more than 5-6 miles on my own anyway. I have a long way to go...
I've set my goal at the Terrapin Mountain Half Marathon in March. 13 miles, that shouldn't be a problem by then. Buh, it's strange to feel proud about making progress towards getting in shape again and frustration at having let yourself get so out of shape in the first place. Sorry for the boring ramble, I'll try to make the next post more entertaining.
Here comes setback number 1-I don't know how long I can run with Remus. I don't want to put any unneccessary strain on his joints especially since big dogs are prone to arthritis and other joint related problems, shoot he already has had surgery on his front leg. SO I'm gonna have to stop by the vet and get an estimate of how many miles is too many. Once I can no longer run with Remus I'm stuck by myself until Brian comes home. Running alone is not something I encourage girls to do, even at a public park. That leaves me the option of the treadmill, and the treadmill and I don't get along. It is tolerable, barely tolerable, to run on that thing for 2 miles, but anything longer than that and I'm going insane with boredom. Even with music on, or a movie on, and I can't read while running I bounce too much. The treadmill is the single most boring exercise I have ever endured, I don't think mentally I'll ever be able to run ten miles on it.
Setback number 2 also eats into my milage. I work 12 hour shifts and live 40 minutes away. Technically it's 12.5 hr shifts because we have to be there 30 minutes early to check off our ambulances. That means I'm away from the house for 14 hours, and thats if I get off on time. It takes me about an hour and a half to get ready on my own (cook myself dinner, shower, taking care of Remus etc) When Brian's home we can combine the cooking and me showering but he's not, so I do both tasks seperately. So if everything goes exactly according to plan, I have 8.5 hours to sleep between shifts. As you can see, I have very little wiggle room. I've already given up an hour of sleep so I can Skype with Brian so I'm down to 7.5. Most of the time I average less than that, because when I get home in the AM I have to take care of Remus again and make myself breakfast. I can't afford to run on the days I work, I'm already extremely short on sleep :( I just can't figure out a way to add a run in on the days I work, there just isn't enough time in the day.
Brian and I figure I need to be running 40 miles a week to get in shape for a 50k. On my long week I have 2 days off. On my short week I have 5. I could probably work up to a 40 mile week on my short week-5 mile run, then 12.5, then 5, then 12.5 then 5...But on my long week? 2 20mile runs back to back, the first one after working 12 hours? Not likely :/
So what does this mean? It means I'm frustrated. I want to run ultras again, I just don't see how I can work up to the appropriate mileage. Ah well, perhaps I'm borrowing trouble. Maybe after I talk to the vet she'll tell me Remus can run 15 miles without a problem and Brian will come home in November and instead of waking up early to Skype I can run 4 miles even on my work days and I'll be in shape in no time....
Who am I trying to kid? Even if Brian doesn't come home till January I'm not sure I'll be running more than 5-6 miles on my own anyway. I have a long way to go...
I've set my goal at the Terrapin Mountain Half Marathon in March. 13 miles, that shouldn't be a problem by then. Buh, it's strange to feel proud about making progress towards getting in shape again and frustration at having let yourself get so out of shape in the first place. Sorry for the boring ramble, I'll try to make the next post more entertaining.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Psalms :)
Not gonna lie, I don't always "get" Psalms. They tend to be some of the most quoted scripture- themes for endless Bible Studies and the like. I think because sometimes I have a hard time relating to them. I mean, it's a lot about enemies and foes and devouring of flesh and besiegement of armies and rescuing Isreal from stupidity. They just all seem to run together after awhile. Personally, I like Proverbs better and my favorite Old Testament book is actually Ecclesiastes, but last night before I went to bed I opened my Bible at random and started reading in Psalms 25 and for once in my life I felt perfectly insync with David.
Psalm 25:16-21
Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.
See how my enemies have increased
and how fiercely they hate me!
Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.
May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in you.
Now my "enemies" are more the creeping depression and cynicism that taint my thoughts more and more frequently, but it still applies. And the line "let me not be put to shame" holds so much for me. I don't want to be a shame to anyone with my lonliness, I don't want to be a burden, I don't want to be a shame to Brian with not being able to cope with his absence while he's trying to cope with actually being overseas, and I don't want to shame Christ with the sarcasm and cynicism that starts sliding into my conversations and edging my actions, providing a very poor witness of relying on Him to help me through missing Brian. So I cling to scripture, I read more and more, holding on to "integrity and uprightness" in a vicious moment to moment battle fought with prayer and at the end of the day I feel better for it. All with the underlying mantra that Brian is in God's hands and so am I and He's in control of this whole situation.
I could go on, but I'll stop here, the Psalm really does speak for itself. :)
Psalm 25:16-21
Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.
See how my enemies have increased
and how fiercely they hate me!
Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.
May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in you.
Now my "enemies" are more the creeping depression and cynicism that taint my thoughts more and more frequently, but it still applies. And the line "let me not be put to shame" holds so much for me. I don't want to be a shame to anyone with my lonliness, I don't want to be a burden, I don't want to be a shame to Brian with not being able to cope with his absence while he's trying to cope with actually being overseas, and I don't want to shame Christ with the sarcasm and cynicism that starts sliding into my conversations and edging my actions, providing a very poor witness of relying on Him to help me through missing Brian. So I cling to scripture, I read more and more, holding on to "integrity and uprightness" in a vicious moment to moment battle fought with prayer and at the end of the day I feel better for it. All with the underlying mantra that Brian is in God's hands and so am I and He's in control of this whole situation.
I could go on, but I'll stop here, the Psalm really does speak for itself. :)
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Busy month!
I've been slack posting, but this month has been crazy. Here's a quick summary from mid August till now.
I met Coco, Jessica's new adorable puppy at Jessica's new apartment in Charlotte.
awww
Remus met Winston
They both jumped at the same time :)
Emma met Remus. I think she likes him, muahahaha
Precious :) Rebecca and Emma visited for two days, it was great!
baby shower! Christine is my "ex" partner. She's expecting a little boy.
Gangs all here! I'm in the back next to Stacey, Sarah (short girl half way in front of me) helped host the shower. Christine's in front of Stacey, and then the back row from Stacey is Tina, Melinda, and Leila. Beverly is front and center, and Bill's (the daddy) mom is the blond middle aged woman and the two black ladies are Christine's stepmom and I think step sister.
This past Saturday Leslie had an extra ticket to the UNC v UVA game at Chapel Hill. I had a blast (football is a lot more interesting now that I understand more of the rules) and even bought myself a t-shirt. Sorry Nick, I've never been a huge fan of UVA....
At the end of this month I have a Passion Party and then I think I get a little bit of a much needed break before heading back to VA to visit Grandma and have some more Emma time :) I'm staying busy, I really miss Brian, and I have a LOT of scrapbooking to do to get this year done...sigh.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Bad blog site
Well it seems this website ate my last post. I'm a little miffed. Not that it was an extraordinary post, but still, I can't remember what I posted word for word. I guess I'll do a re-cap.
Remus is being bad. Very disobedient/rebellious. I think it's partially because Brian is gone so Remus has more time left completely by himself, also he's learning bad habits from the neighbors dog who just runs amok, plus his hormones are hitting with a vengence and our trainer warned us about Remus going through a "brain dump" right around this time. So, my lonely, angst ridden, rebellious teenage monster is turning into quite the nuisance.
In an attempt to allow Remus a chance to win himself back into my good graces I took him running with me at Raven Rock. We had a blast. His lope is the perfect pace, pushing my stride just enough to keep me moving but no faster. After 2.5 miles, my rebellious teenage monster was regarding me with a happy exhausted doggie grin, tongue lolling out the side, panting but not overheated. On the way home I realize it's not just Remus who needs to get back into my good graces, but maybe a little bit me getting back into his good graces. I have to leave him outside when I go to work, but perhaps a little more puppy time when I get off wouldn't be remiss. We still might call for the trainer to help, but I had forgotten how much I love the furry doofball with being so busy these past couple of weeks.
That was the gist of the last post, but I'll tag this on the end.
Look at how long his hair had gotten! Shaggy man. He'll match Remus if he keeps letting it grow out... I miss him. For right now we've decided to stay in the military, Brian is getting his Green to Gold packet together to go officer. Hopefully he'll be happier as an officer than as enlisted, and the Masters will be nice to have against whenever he gets out. He surprised me yesterday with four commplete dinner sets of the polish pottery that I fell in love with this summer. So pretty! The pattern is just HAPPY and I love it. I love him too, haha. Thats all for now!
Remus is being bad. Very disobedient/rebellious. I think it's partially because Brian is gone so Remus has more time left completely by himself, also he's learning bad habits from the neighbors dog who just runs amok, plus his hormones are hitting with a vengence and our trainer warned us about Remus going through a "brain dump" right around this time. So, my lonely, angst ridden, rebellious teenage monster is turning into quite the nuisance.
In an attempt to allow Remus a chance to win himself back into my good graces I took him running with me at Raven Rock. We had a blast. His lope is the perfect pace, pushing my stride just enough to keep me moving but no faster. After 2.5 miles, my rebellious teenage monster was regarding me with a happy exhausted doggie grin, tongue lolling out the side, panting but not overheated. On the way home I realize it's not just Remus who needs to get back into my good graces, but maybe a little bit me getting back into his good graces. I have to leave him outside when I go to work, but perhaps a little more puppy time when I get off wouldn't be remiss. We still might call for the trainer to help, but I had forgotten how much I love the furry doofball with being so busy these past couple of weeks.
That was the gist of the last post, but I'll tag this on the end.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
My "Give a durn" is busted
Pain, ladies and gentleman, is annoying. It can be overwhelming. It can be sharp, or dull, or burning, or aching, or cramping, constant or intermittent, radiating, positional, reproducible...the list continues. It can be indicative of a true emergency-internal organ damage, MIs (heart attacks), aneurysms, CVAs (Strokes)...but most often, it heralds much less emergent malfunctions.
I am no stranger to pain. I have ended up in the ER on more then one occasion-usually arranged to be the most inconvienient time possible. I fractured and disloacted my L elbow. I've sprained both ankles (and once my other elbow) numerous times, given myself whiplash falling on my head, straddled a balance beam, and had appendicitis to name a few painful incidents. I won't deny that I cried, when I fractured my elbow I screamed. HOWEVER, even at 14, I did not continue to scream all night. In fact, I ran out of tears pretty quickly. I had bursts of pain that reduced me to crying, especially while trying to sleep that night awaiting surgery in the morning, but as far as I can recall, I did not moan and groan and scream and cry for hours straight.
I am making this point not to try and boast about my pain tolerance. I was a moody, emotional, and highly dramatic child who would throw tantrums over far smaller things than broken elbows. I am making the point to illustrate that even at 14 I had enough control not to make a total brat of myself just because I hurt.
I try, really hard, to be patient with people in my line of work. I tell myself not everyone has the same pain threshold, sometimes it's the scariness that makes it seem worse....and sometimes people are just pathetic. I'm sorry! I tried. I can't help it, the slobbering drooling moaning crying tantrum throwing drama royalty make me want to give them something legitimate to cry about. Especially when that something is heartburn. Especially when they are forcing themselves to hyperventilate and then complain that their hands are now going numb. (My response, "Yup, keep on breathing like that and they'll contract in a muscle spasm thats really painful. Your feet will too." I find this a far more effective response than pretending like I care and telling them to "calm your breathing down, just relaaaax." BS) Especially when their blood pressure isn't the tiniest bit elevated, in fact, it's a very healthy 110/70 ish the entire trip to the hospital. Yeah, I wish I could reach through their chest wall and grab their heart and squeeeeeeeeze. THAT would be what a heart attack feels like. And I bet the pain would leave them breathless, not groaning and moaning like a ghoul straight out of a kids book.
My theory: If you have enough energy to groan/moan/scream/cry for over an hour, than you don't really hurt all that bad. Pain is annoying, but it is NOT an emergency in and of itself. I will try and be sympathetic, I will prop you up to make you comfortable, give you a sheet to cover up, listen to your complaints and ask you questions to assess you, but do not expect me-or anyone else-to whisk you straight to the head of the waiting list just because you hurt. And quit whining.
I am no stranger to pain. I have ended up in the ER on more then one occasion-usually arranged to be the most inconvienient time possible. I fractured and disloacted my L elbow. I've sprained both ankles (and once my other elbow) numerous times, given myself whiplash falling on my head, straddled a balance beam, and had appendicitis to name a few painful incidents. I won't deny that I cried, when I fractured my elbow I screamed. HOWEVER, even at 14, I did not continue to scream all night. In fact, I ran out of tears pretty quickly. I had bursts of pain that reduced me to crying, especially while trying to sleep that night awaiting surgery in the morning, but as far as I can recall, I did not moan and groan and scream and cry for hours straight.
I am making this point not to try and boast about my pain tolerance. I was a moody, emotional, and highly dramatic child who would throw tantrums over far smaller things than broken elbows. I am making the point to illustrate that even at 14 I had enough control not to make a total brat of myself just because I hurt.
I try, really hard, to be patient with people in my line of work. I tell myself not everyone has the same pain threshold, sometimes it's the scariness that makes it seem worse....and sometimes people are just pathetic. I'm sorry! I tried. I can't help it, the slobbering drooling moaning crying tantrum throwing drama royalty make me want to give them something legitimate to cry about. Especially when that something is heartburn. Especially when they are forcing themselves to hyperventilate and then complain that their hands are now going numb. (My response, "Yup, keep on breathing like that and they'll contract in a muscle spasm thats really painful. Your feet will too." I find this a far more effective response than pretending like I care and telling them to "calm your breathing down, just relaaaax." BS) Especially when their blood pressure isn't the tiniest bit elevated, in fact, it's a very healthy 110/70 ish the entire trip to the hospital. Yeah, I wish I could reach through their chest wall and grab their heart and squeeeeeeeeze. THAT would be what a heart attack feels like. And I bet the pain would leave them breathless, not groaning and moaning like a ghoul straight out of a kids book.
My theory: If you have enough energy to groan/moan/scream/cry for over an hour, than you don't really hurt all that bad. Pain is annoying, but it is NOT an emergency in and of itself. I will try and be sympathetic, I will prop you up to make you comfortable, give you a sheet to cover up, listen to your complaints and ask you questions to assess you, but do not expect me-or anyone else-to whisk you straight to the head of the waiting list just because you hurt. And quit whining.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Creativity Burst :)
I've finished 5 more scrap book pages and have the last 2 of year 2010 already partially mapped out :D
Also, I have a great idea for a childrens book. I'll probably never get around to doing anything about it, or if I do, I'll never finish it, but it's fun to think about in my head. I like taking my imagination for a good brisk jog now and again.
I moved my current "oil painting in progress" into Brian's room so I can pick up on painting it. I've relegated Brian's room for the oil painting, the living room for scrapbooking, and my room for all other DIY projects. The house is well and truly messy.
Although I AM trying to clean the kitchen. It goes it bits and bursts. I'm also doing laundry even as I write this. I know, thats not so much a burst of creativity as it is a burst of doing ANYTHING around the house since I have been highly unmotivated to even get out of bed since Brian left, but I figured I'd add it in.
Oh and on a more depressing note. Don't talk to me about Afghanistan. Don't talk to me about the SF guy who got killed by a sniper or the Chinook that got shot down and killed all those men. Don't talk to me about ANYthing Middle Eastern war related. At all. Period. Yes, Brian is in Iraq for this deployment which is considerably safer. But then he'll be home for HOPEFULLY a full 6 months before getting deployed again with a 99.9% chance that he'll go to Afghanistan. Just, don't mention it. I do not have enough coping power to watch the news, I don't want to think about the escalation of violence, I don't want to talk politics. I have my own guns, don't push me on this.
Notice any wild mood swings? Yeah, me neither, amazing how stable I am for this deployment....
More scrapbooking time! Yay!
This post is more of a pointless ramble. I apologize, I had hoped to keep this blog a little more focused and organized. But right now, I'm pretty unfocused and chaotic so rambling is just gonna have to work. I'm pretty sure what little function I had in the left side of my brain has completely shut off and I'm running on full right sided power at the moment. I'll return to normal posting in a few days when I get pictures of the aquarium and then today's beach trip loaded to the computer. Thanks for reading.
Also, I have a great idea for a childrens book. I'll probably never get around to doing anything about it, or if I do, I'll never finish it, but it's fun to think about in my head. I like taking my imagination for a good brisk jog now and again.
I moved my current "oil painting in progress" into Brian's room so I can pick up on painting it. I've relegated Brian's room for the oil painting, the living room for scrapbooking, and my room for all other DIY projects. The house is well and truly messy.
Although I AM trying to clean the kitchen. It goes it bits and bursts. I'm also doing laundry even as I write this. I know, thats not so much a burst of creativity as it is a burst of doing ANYTHING around the house since I have been highly unmotivated to even get out of bed since Brian left, but I figured I'd add it in.
Oh and on a more depressing note. Don't talk to me about Afghanistan. Don't talk to me about the SF guy who got killed by a sniper or the Chinook that got shot down and killed all those men. Don't talk to me about ANYthing Middle Eastern war related. At all. Period. Yes, Brian is in Iraq for this deployment which is considerably safer. But then he'll be home for HOPEFULLY a full 6 months before getting deployed again with a 99.9% chance that he'll go to Afghanistan. Just, don't mention it. I do not have enough coping power to watch the news, I don't want to think about the escalation of violence, I don't want to talk politics. I have my own guns, don't push me on this.
Notice any wild mood swings? Yeah, me neither, amazing how stable I am for this deployment....
More scrapbooking time! Yay!
This post is more of a pointless ramble. I apologize, I had hoped to keep this blog a little more focused and organized. But right now, I'm pretty unfocused and chaotic so rambling is just gonna have to work. I'm pretty sure what little function I had in the left side of my brain has completely shut off and I'm running on full right sided power at the moment. I'll return to normal posting in a few days when I get pictures of the aquarium and then today's beach trip loaded to the computer. Thanks for reading.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Georgia Fun!
I had a wonderful time visiting my cousin Zechariah and his wife (my cousin-in-law?) Sara in Georgia. I was pleasantly surprised at Georgia in general, they live in Duluth and the area actually looks similar to VA. AKA, not filled with sand and scrubby ugly pine. If I could get over not having a snowy winter Georgia wouldn't be a bad place to live.
ANYway. I got there early and spent the morning with Sara (Zech was at work)and we tried introducing Remus to the Boston Terrier pups, but apparently Pigsby wasn't a big fan of Remus and what one does the other follows :/ Poor Remus, big baby that he is, suffered a little bit of bleeding from his ear but inflicted no damage in his own self defense. The Bostons were corralled and relegated to their crate where they spent most of the visit. We discovered that just Buster was ok with Remus and Sara showed me the high-flying ups the Bostons have, it was extremely comical. The noises the Buster and Pigsby made were even funnier, the snorts and grunts and wheezing, haha.
That afternoon we went to see the aquarium which was a blast! It was crowded, so hard to see all of the exhibits, but I'm dragging Brian to it when he gets back because the exhibits are spectacular. The bulugas and whale sharks where definite crowd pleasers but I think among the smaller exhibits the spider crabs and the little hole dwelling fish (can't remember the name) were my favorites. Zech gave us a guided tour, we even got to go to some of the "back stage" areas and see how the aquarium managed some of the exhibits, it was really cool. THEN we got to see some of the dolphin training and get good seats for Zech's performance as "The Star Spinner!"
It was so much fun! Cheesy, haha, yes, but it's geared mostly for kids. It was great to finally see one of Zech's performances, didn't know my cousin had such a good singing voice :D Also, the little boy next to Sara was hilarious. There was a fire alarm activation before the show started and it messed up the lightening and turned off the video that was playing on the screen to keep people entertained while everyone got seated. Since Sara had been explaining to the little boy how the lights would lower in the audience and then light up over the dolphin pool I guess he assumed she was the one running the show. As the lights kept switching (getting a lot of false alarm "ohhhhhh!"s from the crowd) the boy finally turned to Sara and said "Can you get your iphone out and open up your App and text someone. I'm bored now." Then during one part of the show there is a storm complete with "rain" falling on the dolphin tank. Well, the storm abates and the rain gentles while the Star Spinner (Zech) sings a song about the dolphins. The boy was not amused, sitting with his legs drawn up to his chin he states "Um, it's still raining out here!" At the end of the show Sara asked how he liked the show and he responded very noncholantly "It was ok." Hahaha tough crowd.
I enjoyed it, it is so cool that this is what my cousin gets to do for work. How much fun! Afterwards we had dinner with some of Sara's friends (a couple she had actually matched together) then watched a redbox movie and ate icecream back at the house while Remus drooled all over everyone and Sara armed us with Fabreeze to combat the Bostons natural gassyness. Ah, living with dogs...
Next day I went to Mass with Sara which was gorgeous. I love the Catholic service, the beauty and the ritual and the specialness of it, it is truly a place where I can "be still" and listen. Then we ate at the Flying Biscuit which is the absolute best breakfast place I have EVER been to. Delicious! My meal consisted of the best grits I have ever tasted, and chicken sausage, spinach, mushrooms, penne pasta, cheese and eggs all scrambled together. Pasta scrambled with eggs? Who knew? So good!!! By the time I had eaten the grits and most of the eggs I could barely take a few bites of the homemade biscuit on my plate, but that too, was scrumptious. Sara and I then made a quick trip to JoAnns for some DIY Nursery projects. (Can't wait to see the finished projects!) and I now have a million and one ideas floating around for projects of my own.
Oh it was just a great weekend :) Back to the grindstone tonight. Hope it's better than the past few weeks have been. Craziness!
ANYway. I got there early and spent the morning with Sara (Zech was at work)and we tried introducing Remus to the Boston Terrier pups, but apparently Pigsby wasn't a big fan of Remus and what one does the other follows :/ Poor Remus, big baby that he is, suffered a little bit of bleeding from his ear but inflicted no damage in his own self defense. The Bostons were corralled and relegated to their crate where they spent most of the visit. We discovered that just Buster was ok with Remus and Sara showed me the high-flying ups the Bostons have, it was extremely comical. The noises the Buster and Pigsby made were even funnier, the snorts and grunts and wheezing, haha.
That afternoon we went to see the aquarium which was a blast! It was crowded, so hard to see all of the exhibits, but I'm dragging Brian to it when he gets back because the exhibits are spectacular. The bulugas and whale sharks where definite crowd pleasers but I think among the smaller exhibits the spider crabs and the little hole dwelling fish (can't remember the name) were my favorites. Zech gave us a guided tour, we even got to go to some of the "back stage" areas and see how the aquarium managed some of the exhibits, it was really cool. THEN we got to see some of the dolphin training and get good seats for Zech's performance as "The Star Spinner!"
It was so much fun! Cheesy, haha, yes, but it's geared mostly for kids. It was great to finally see one of Zech's performances, didn't know my cousin had such a good singing voice :D Also, the little boy next to Sara was hilarious. There was a fire alarm activation before the show started and it messed up the lightening and turned off the video that was playing on the screen to keep people entertained while everyone got seated. Since Sara had been explaining to the little boy how the lights would lower in the audience and then light up over the dolphin pool I guess he assumed she was the one running the show. As the lights kept switching (getting a lot of false alarm "ohhhhhh!"s from the crowd) the boy finally turned to Sara and said "Can you get your iphone out and open up your App and text someone. I'm bored now." Then during one part of the show there is a storm complete with "rain" falling on the dolphin tank. Well, the storm abates and the rain gentles while the Star Spinner (Zech) sings a song about the dolphins. The boy was not amused, sitting with his legs drawn up to his chin he states "Um, it's still raining out here!" At the end of the show Sara asked how he liked the show and he responded very noncholantly "It was ok." Hahaha tough crowd.
I enjoyed it, it is so cool that this is what my cousin gets to do for work. How much fun! Afterwards we had dinner with some of Sara's friends (a couple she had actually matched together) then watched a redbox movie and ate icecream back at the house while Remus drooled all over everyone and Sara armed us with Fabreeze to combat the Bostons natural gassyness. Ah, living with dogs...
Next day I went to Mass with Sara which was gorgeous. I love the Catholic service, the beauty and the ritual and the specialness of it, it is truly a place where I can "be still" and listen. Then we ate at the Flying Biscuit which is the absolute best breakfast place I have EVER been to. Delicious! My meal consisted of the best grits I have ever tasted, and chicken sausage, spinach, mushrooms, penne pasta, cheese and eggs all scrambled together. Pasta scrambled with eggs? Who knew? So good!!! By the time I had eaten the grits and most of the eggs I could barely take a few bites of the homemade biscuit on my plate, but that too, was scrumptious. Sara and I then made a quick trip to JoAnns for some DIY Nursery projects. (Can't wait to see the finished projects!) and I now have a million and one ideas floating around for projects of my own.
Oh it was just a great weekend :) Back to the grindstone tonight. Hope it's better than the past few weeks have been. Craziness!
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Musings on the fraility of human existence...and bones.
As a paramedic I get up close and personal with death and dying in all it's various forms. And I witness it in it's natural habitat, so to speak. BEFORE the tubes and wires and beeping machines, the sterile cot and stark white lights. I see it slumped over on the living room couch, drowning from the inside due to a tired heart, or gaze fixed to one side, mouth drooling, flat on the kitchen floor as a vessel in the brain says "Enough crack!" and bleeds into the cranial cavity. The heartbreaking dilated pupils and pale still form of a 6month old boy on a stained sofa surrounded by the toys and clutter of the siblings he won't ever get to play with, mom and dad hysterical in a cornor.
You get to learn a little about death and loss and grieving when you deal with it on a regular basis. Death has it's sweet side. The relaxed passing of the 90 year old cancer patient in his sleep, free of pain after a long life. The 86 year old dialysis patient whose spouse has passed before her and she's ready to join him. Most of the time the "Do Not Resucitate" form is truly a Golden Ticket.
At this point, you may be wondering where "bones" fit into this little narrative. Well, how about...right here. Trauma is the other side of death that we EMS-ers (including Fire Department First Responders) see quite a bit of. You become amazed at how much the body can withstand in some cases and in others you are reminded uncomfortably of how easy it is to be broken. So, bones. Those concrete pillars of the human frame. The hardened core of our structure, protecting the brain and vital organs, giving us mobility and dexterity. Without bones, we'd be amoebas. Or sharks (if you have enough cartilage). I like bones, the skeletal system was my favorite in anatomy class, I was fascinated by the osteoblasts and osteoclasts and the intricate design of marrow and layers with openings for vessels like a hub in the center of little bone cell cities. Bones look tough, resiliant, fashioned into weapons in some places. Yay bones!
Thats what I initially thought of bones, but slowly, insiduously, my appreciation of bones turned to one of discomfort and sometimes horror. Thats it?? That thin porceline cap is supposed to protect my brain?! Not only that, it's breakable enough to dent my brain matter, but too stubborn and unyielding to let my brain swell without injury. They drill holes in peoples skull because what seems a somewhat minor concussion leads to swelling and the stupid, stubborn skull (so easy to break!) won't budge to give the brain room. Fingers and toes we expect to break, they even look breakable, but how easy to break a wrist! Two bones, snap snap, and a floppy hand. And jaws, a big, angular, tough looking bone. I had a motorcyclist who face planted. His jaw and cheekbones were so shattered the his face slid down into his neck. Talk about a weak chin. He was completely unconscious, but somehow still breathing. Every time we tried to assist ventilations with a bag valve mask and some O2, air would blow out a hole along what was left of his jawline, spraying everyone with blood like a benevolent whale. We were all red freckled by the time we got to the hospital. His face was so mushy, we couldn't get a good seal on the mask. Bones, pah!
There are two major long bones in the body, the humerous (upper arm) and the femur (thigh). I've seen both broken. Another motorcylcist had rearended a different motorcylcist on a major highway and went flying. There were pieces of his bike everywhere and inside the thick, skin glove of his person he had a tib-fib fracture (lower leg bones) and a humerous fracture. His bicep, a fit mans bicep, swelled to twice the size of normal, the skin streched painfully tight as blood and fluid congregated at the site of his humerous fracture. So easy to break!
Motorcyclists, sheesh. I've seen one with BOTH his femurs broken. And his pelvis. He was mushy from neck up and waist down, but his torso only had road rash. I'm used to thinking of the femur as a big bone. A tough bone. A really hard to break bone unless you hit it just right. This guy had both broken, and one sticking out like a broom handle, 2-3inches of bone exposed to the world. All I could think was, "Are you sure thats bone? It's so small!" There it was white on the outside, yellow and red ringed at the break. I could see the marrow. So small!
Bones. Bones are supposed to be the tough part of our body, and all they're protected by is easily torn muscle and paper thin skin. I think I'm going to invest in body armor. Trauma can be more devestating than illness, it claims the young and dumb in the prime of their drunken lives, as well as the innocents simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Accidents, assaults, falls, MVCs...trauma is random and indescriminate. And bones, those Brutus's of the body, so ready to snap when you need them most, tearing up your tender insides instead of shielding them from outside forces. I am wary of my bones.
Here I must end, or I'll be late for work....
P.S. Instead of making EMS workers more leery of death and truama, we tend to be rather cavelier about it all. Death is inevitable and trauma not always unavoidable, so why worry? Still, it's hard not to get a funny jolt in your stomach when you scrape someone off the pavement and realize how breakable you are...
You get to learn a little about death and loss and grieving when you deal with it on a regular basis. Death has it's sweet side. The relaxed passing of the 90 year old cancer patient in his sleep, free of pain after a long life. The 86 year old dialysis patient whose spouse has passed before her and she's ready to join him. Most of the time the "Do Not Resucitate" form is truly a Golden Ticket.
At this point, you may be wondering where "bones" fit into this little narrative. Well, how about...right here. Trauma is the other side of death that we EMS-ers (including Fire Department First Responders) see quite a bit of. You become amazed at how much the body can withstand in some cases and in others you are reminded uncomfortably of how easy it is to be broken. So, bones. Those concrete pillars of the human frame. The hardened core of our structure, protecting the brain and vital organs, giving us mobility and dexterity. Without bones, we'd be amoebas. Or sharks (if you have enough cartilage). I like bones, the skeletal system was my favorite in anatomy class, I was fascinated by the osteoblasts and osteoclasts and the intricate design of marrow and layers with openings for vessels like a hub in the center of little bone cell cities. Bones look tough, resiliant, fashioned into weapons in some places. Yay bones!
Thats what I initially thought of bones, but slowly, insiduously, my appreciation of bones turned to one of discomfort and sometimes horror. Thats it?? That thin porceline cap is supposed to protect my brain?! Not only that, it's breakable enough to dent my brain matter, but too stubborn and unyielding to let my brain swell without injury. They drill holes in peoples skull because what seems a somewhat minor concussion leads to swelling and the stupid, stubborn skull (so easy to break!) won't budge to give the brain room. Fingers and toes we expect to break, they even look breakable, but how easy to break a wrist! Two bones, snap snap, and a floppy hand. And jaws, a big, angular, tough looking bone. I had a motorcyclist who face planted. His jaw and cheekbones were so shattered the his face slid down into his neck. Talk about a weak chin. He was completely unconscious, but somehow still breathing. Every time we tried to assist ventilations with a bag valve mask and some O2, air would blow out a hole along what was left of his jawline, spraying everyone with blood like a benevolent whale. We were all red freckled by the time we got to the hospital. His face was so mushy, we couldn't get a good seal on the mask. Bones, pah!
There are two major long bones in the body, the humerous (upper arm) and the femur (thigh). I've seen both broken. Another motorcylcist had rearended a different motorcylcist on a major highway and went flying. There were pieces of his bike everywhere and inside the thick, skin glove of his person he had a tib-fib fracture (lower leg bones) and a humerous fracture. His bicep, a fit mans bicep, swelled to twice the size of normal, the skin streched painfully tight as blood and fluid congregated at the site of his humerous fracture. So easy to break!
Motorcyclists, sheesh. I've seen one with BOTH his femurs broken. And his pelvis. He was mushy from neck up and waist down, but his torso only had road rash. I'm used to thinking of the femur as a big bone. A tough bone. A really hard to break bone unless you hit it just right. This guy had both broken, and one sticking out like a broom handle, 2-3inches of bone exposed to the world. All I could think was, "Are you sure thats bone? It's so small!" There it was white on the outside, yellow and red ringed at the break. I could see the marrow. So small!
Bones. Bones are supposed to be the tough part of our body, and all they're protected by is easily torn muscle and paper thin skin. I think I'm going to invest in body armor. Trauma can be more devestating than illness, it claims the young and dumb in the prime of their drunken lives, as well as the innocents simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Accidents, assaults, falls, MVCs...trauma is random and indescriminate. And bones, those Brutus's of the body, so ready to snap when you need them most, tearing up your tender insides instead of shielding them from outside forces. I am wary of my bones.
Here I must end, or I'll be late for work....
P.S. Instead of making EMS workers more leery of death and truama, we tend to be rather cavelier about it all. Death is inevitable and trauma not always unavoidable, so why worry? Still, it's hard not to get a funny jolt in your stomach when you scrape someone off the pavement and realize how breakable you are...
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Weekends
Two generations solving the world's problems before dinner :) I got my fill of political discussion, fascinating, but my brain was definitely tired by the end of it.
FISHING!! Dad and I went down to the pond, caught a few off the dock, and then pushed the rowboat into the water for a lazy few hours on the water. We actually caught quite a few, it was a ton of fun. Remus, after some pitiful howling and running around the bank gave a heart rending "rooooorrroooooooo" and took off for the shade of the porch.
My man :) This was taken after a day at the range. He sounds ok, bored mostly, we've already written over 30pages in emails. I miss him. 21days down!
Thats all for now! Visiting the GA cousins next :)
Monday, July 18, 2011
Picture Post of Pre-deployment! Part 2
Turtle Cookie! Instead of telling Brian to be safe, I tell him to "Embrace the Turtle" (meaning, wear that turtle pack faithfully)
All ready to go. We had to leave the house around 1300 (1pm) to get to the appointed place for formation and weapons draw on time. He didn't end up boarding the bus until 2000 (8pm) due to a bunch of delays. We weren't allowed to follow the buses over to the Green Ramp where the flight was leaving. Apparently they used to allow families over there, but then one little boy managed to pull a fire alarm because he didn't want his dad to leave. SO now families say good bye at the buses.
Thats everything! I have pictures of a beach trip I can post the weekend after he left. I have great friends who kept me entertained that first weekend :)
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Picture Post of Pre-deployment!
Off to the Zoo! Brian had block leave for two weeks, the first half was taken up with a "mandatory jump" (yup, they were technically on leave and still had to come to work) and then visiting his family in VA, the second half was spent all over Fayetteville, Raleigh, and even to the Zoo! Definitely a good time, and surprisingly shady for the vast majority of the walking route to see all the animals.
YAY Giraffe! I took multiple pictures of the giraffes, but I'll refrain from posting them all here :)
The Polar Bear was one of Brian and I's favorites. He looks too cute all sprawled out in the shade. I actually donated a dollar and got a button to support the expansion of the polar bear enclosure. Apparently they have two male polar bears but not enough space for both of them.
Ocelot Kitten! There were two kittens and a mom, they were super cute. This one has just spotted his littermate ttying to sneak up on him. The drama took several minutes to unfold, but once the sneaker realized he'd been spotted he noncholantly pretended he wasn't doing anything suspicious, and the sneaked upon (kitten in the picture) went back to playing on his branch.
At the end of Brian's block leave we headed over ot the Vincent's for a family picnic. John and Rachel made the trip from Texas and Matthew was able to come before he started his adventure in Indiana. I baked and decorated the cake for the occasion and it turned out not too shabby :) First time I had really attempted the layered approach, the top actually says "Let's Celebrate!"
My super cute niece! Brian snagged this photo when I wasn't looking, but it turned out to be one of my favorites. She's so big!
I meant to post more but the computer is being flakey about uploading my pictures so I guess I'll have to do a "Part 2" at a later date :)
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Visiting with Remus...
At home, with me, Remus is a fairly well behaved dog. He has his moments of rambunctiousness where he wants to play and throws his toys all over the place, or whines because we aren't paying enough attention to him, but usually all it takes is a sharp scold and a few basic commands and he resigns himself to being quiet and passes out on the floor.
However, when I take him anywhere else, he is beyond ADHD. He follows me everywhere if he can, whines and howls if he can't, is in a constant state of motion and even inside in the air condition he pants like his life depends on it. He refuses just to lay down and chill, even when I'm around. Too many new places/sites/sounds, he just can't cope. People don't believe me when I tell him he is usually super chill. Then the SECOND we pull into our driveway, Remus wearily gets out of the car, maybe pees, and then walks calmly into the house, sprawls out on the carpet, and passes out. He sleeps for several hours straight.
I spent the night at a friend's house last night and we went to the beach this morning. Remus spent the night too, but we left him at her house when we left for the beach. Remus barely slept. I know, because I kept him in the guest bedroom with me. At first he just kept circling the bed so he could pant in my face. Then he figured out that if he bumped the "touch" lamp with his nose it would turn on and force me to lean over and turn it off. When he finally figured out how to get ON the bed, he literally crawled on top of me. 130 lbs of dog is a considerable amount of weight. I shoved him off, and he seemed content with laying on my one leg, but he was still panting so hard the entire bed was shaking significantly. He did finally fall asleep for a few hours, but woke me up early in the morning by falling off the bed. Literally, he went to jump off and fell. I crawled over to look and he was laying on the floor looking very confused. Sigh.
When we came back after the beach, Remus was thrilled and still hyped up. Remus and I got home around 8pm and Remus is still passed out on the carpet. He was so tired that after following me around the house he finally gave up and walked to the kitchen to fall asleep. He willingly and on his own left me to go to the kitchen and fall asleep, even though the gate was wide open and I was still moving around! Seriously, that's pretty miraculous.
Point of the story, I am very thankful for the friends and family who put up with my doofus dog. I SWEAR he does not act like that at home. He is still asleep as I write this, sometimes he even dreams, yipping and twitching in his sleep. Maybe once we start working with a trainer he'll get better...
Thats all for now!
P.S. The beach was awesome :)
However, when I take him anywhere else, he is beyond ADHD. He follows me everywhere if he can, whines and howls if he can't, is in a constant state of motion and even inside in the air condition he pants like his life depends on it. He refuses just to lay down and chill, even when I'm around. Too many new places/sites/sounds, he just can't cope. People don't believe me when I tell him he is usually super chill. Then the SECOND we pull into our driveway, Remus wearily gets out of the car, maybe pees, and then walks calmly into the house, sprawls out on the carpet, and passes out. He sleeps for several hours straight.
I spent the night at a friend's house last night and we went to the beach this morning. Remus spent the night too, but we left him at her house when we left for the beach. Remus barely slept. I know, because I kept him in the guest bedroom with me. At first he just kept circling the bed so he could pant in my face. Then he figured out that if he bumped the "touch" lamp with his nose it would turn on and force me to lean over and turn it off. When he finally figured out how to get ON the bed, he literally crawled on top of me. 130 lbs of dog is a considerable amount of weight. I shoved him off, and he seemed content with laying on my one leg, but he was still panting so hard the entire bed was shaking significantly. He did finally fall asleep for a few hours, but woke me up early in the morning by falling off the bed. Literally, he went to jump off and fell. I crawled over to look and he was laying on the floor looking very confused. Sigh.
When we came back after the beach, Remus was thrilled and still hyped up. Remus and I got home around 8pm and Remus is still passed out on the carpet. He was so tired that after following me around the house he finally gave up and walked to the kitchen to fall asleep. He willingly and on his own left me to go to the kitchen and fall asleep, even though the gate was wide open and I was still moving around! Seriously, that's pretty miraculous.
Point of the story, I am very thankful for the friends and family who put up with my doofus dog. I SWEAR he does not act like that at home. He is still asleep as I write this, sometimes he even dreams, yipping and twitching in his sleep. Maybe once we start working with a trainer he'll get better...
Thats all for now!
P.S. The beach was awesome :)
Friday, July 8, 2011
Obligation
I feel obligated to post something on here but I don't really have anything to post. I got to Skype with Brian briefly yesterday, which was fantastic but I don't think I'll have the same luck today. With bootcamp it was waiting impatiently for the mail, with deployment it's hovering impatiently around the computer.
I work again tonight and already have four days of overtime scheduled...
I'm really really really tired. I suppose it's from being in a state of semi anxiety-nervousness for 5 days, but in any case, I'm tired.
Remus has been allowed out of the kitchen into the living room much more frequently since Brian left, but the genius dog has managed to trap himself back inside the kitchen. He doesn't understand that if he pushes on his crate door it'll swing open and he can go wherever. I don't think I'm going to teach him, because right now it's convienient that he has no idea he's big enough to push through flimsy barriers.
Remus is kinda funny wandering around sniffing everything. He'll lay down at my feet for 10 seconds, then move his head and catch a scent in the carpet, then he'll stretch his neck and sniff as much as possible while still laying down, then he'll shuffle/belly crawl a little, then he'll finally get up and take off around the room sniffing as if his life depended on it. After a circuit or two he'll lay back down and the process repeats.
I'll post again when I have something more interesting to post. For now it's off to get ready for work.
I work again tonight and already have four days of overtime scheduled...
I'm really really really tired. I suppose it's from being in a state of semi anxiety-nervousness for 5 days, but in any case, I'm tired.
Remus has been allowed out of the kitchen into the living room much more frequently since Brian left, but the genius dog has managed to trap himself back inside the kitchen. He doesn't understand that if he pushes on his crate door it'll swing open and he can go wherever. I don't think I'm going to teach him, because right now it's convienient that he has no idea he's big enough to push through flimsy barriers.
Remus is kinda funny wandering around sniffing everything. He'll lay down at my feet for 10 seconds, then move his head and catch a scent in the carpet, then he'll stretch his neck and sniff as much as possible while still laying down, then he'll shuffle/belly crawl a little, then he'll finally get up and take off around the room sniffing as if his life depended on it. After a circuit or two he'll lay back down and the process repeats.
I'll post again when I have something more interesting to post. For now it's off to get ready for work.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Deployment
June finished up fantastically, the weekend family reunion-celebration bash at Rebecca and Nick's was a great success, but July didn't start out so well.
Brian was supposed to deploy July 16th. We found out July 2nd that he had to deploy July 6th. Yup, tomorrow he leaves on a midnight plane to Iraq, fun fun (So I guess technically it's the 7th since it's midnight, I don't really care). Now, I knew he was going to deploy, we'd both been planning over the past few months FOR said deployment, however the planning included this coming weekend (8-10th) and the subsequent week. To put it mildly, I was not happy when he got the text this past Saturday evening right before I left for work.
This post is rather scattered, but my brain has been pretty much scattered since Saturday. There are now several loose ends that will still be untied when Brian leaves. Brian has been packing and repacking in a semi-frenzy, they're scrambling to get his orders pushed through, we've been trying to line up everything that needs to be done before he leaves in a few days instead of almost two more weeks. And, again, I am not happy.
I wish Remus was smart enough to do service training and I'd insist on taking him everywhere when Brian leaves due to a resulting emotional handicap. Ugh. I could write a whole bunch of mushy crap on here, but really I'm just feeling very keyed up and unsettled. My appetite is close to nill, I've slept 5 hours and been awake for 48, and my senses are on over drive. It'll almost be a relief when Brian leaves in a weird way. The sooner he's gone, the sooner he'll be home.
In other EMS news, the fourth of July weekend wasn't horrible, but it was busy. A lot of drunks, which meant a lot of assaults, a few gunshot victims, at least one house on fire that I know of, multiple MVCs (Motor Vehicle Collisions)-more pedestrians struck and motorcycles than usual, a few overdoses, and like 12 dispatched Cardiac Arrests calls...maybe four of them were legit, several were 10-67, DRT, whatever you want to call it (obvious death-lividity, rigor has already set in) Two of the ones we got were very dumb false alarms. If someone has drunk large quantities of alcohol and passed out, please triple check to see if they're breathing and at least TRY to find a pulse before starting CPR. Dead drunk does not equal dead, stop jumping on their chest and let them sleep it off...
Also, if you live in a gated community, make sure your gate opens to a siren yelp because if not and you DO have a cardiac arrest, you're just gonna stay deader that much longer as EOC tries to call someone to get the code to let in the ambulance/firetruck. Basically only healthy people that never have accidents should live in gated communities whose gates don't open for emergency personnel (and most of them don't), otherwise you're just stupid. Seriously, those gated communities are first class death traps.
I think thats everything.
Brian was supposed to deploy July 16th. We found out July 2nd that he had to deploy July 6th. Yup, tomorrow he leaves on a midnight plane to Iraq, fun fun (So I guess technically it's the 7th since it's midnight, I don't really care). Now, I knew he was going to deploy, we'd both been planning over the past few months FOR said deployment, however the planning included this coming weekend (8-10th) and the subsequent week. To put it mildly, I was not happy when he got the text this past Saturday evening right before I left for work.
This post is rather scattered, but my brain has been pretty much scattered since Saturday. There are now several loose ends that will still be untied when Brian leaves. Brian has been packing and repacking in a semi-frenzy, they're scrambling to get his orders pushed through, we've been trying to line up everything that needs to be done before he leaves in a few days instead of almost two more weeks. And, again, I am not happy.
I wish Remus was smart enough to do service training and I'd insist on taking him everywhere when Brian leaves due to a resulting emotional handicap. Ugh. I could write a whole bunch of mushy crap on here, but really I'm just feeling very keyed up and unsettled. My appetite is close to nill, I've slept 5 hours and been awake for 48, and my senses are on over drive. It'll almost be a relief when Brian leaves in a weird way. The sooner he's gone, the sooner he'll be home.
In other EMS news, the fourth of July weekend wasn't horrible, but it was busy. A lot of drunks, which meant a lot of assaults, a few gunshot victims, at least one house on fire that I know of, multiple MVCs (Motor Vehicle Collisions)-more pedestrians struck and motorcycles than usual, a few overdoses, and like 12 dispatched Cardiac Arrests calls...maybe four of them were legit, several were 10-67, DRT, whatever you want to call it (obvious death-lividity, rigor has already set in) Two of the ones we got were very dumb false alarms. If someone has drunk large quantities of alcohol and passed out, please triple check to see if they're breathing and at least TRY to find a pulse before starting CPR. Dead drunk does not equal dead, stop jumping on their chest and let them sleep it off...
Also, if you live in a gated community, make sure your gate opens to a siren yelp because if not and you DO have a cardiac arrest, you're just gonna stay deader that much longer as EOC tries to call someone to get the code to let in the ambulance/firetruck. Basically only healthy people that never have accidents should live in gated communities whose gates don't open for emergency personnel (and most of them don't), otherwise you're just stupid. Seriously, those gated communities are first class death traps.
I think thats everything.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Milestones
This past weekend my niece, Emma, who is 3 months old, rolled over from her belly to her back for the first time. Everyone was ecstatic and cheering, one of the baby milestones had been met and the whole family was there to witness it! Woo!
Well, my own big doofus puppy, Remus, turned 1 year on June 17, and my fully male 120+ lb dog had yet to lift a leg to pee, preferring to squat lady like to do his tinkle. It was getting embarrassing. Especailly since his dangling cahones were kinda hard to miss. Today it was overcast and not 90 degrees outside, so I figured I'd take Remus to the dog park. Only one other large dog was there, a beautiful black and tan lady mutt about the size of a black lab with a thick fluffy coat that had also been shaved for the summer heat. This lady was also around a year old, however she was fixed. Remus didn't seem to register the difference.
He arched his neck, carried his tail higher than I've ever seen him, and alternated between prancing stiff legged in front of her and trying to shove his nose up her butt. Literally, he followed her around with his nose firmly connected to her nether regions. My dog was experiencing his first puppy love. I don't know if it was the flood of testosterone or just the desire to impress his lady, but for the first time since we've had Remus he decided he wanted to mark. So he popped his customary squat and gave a little squirt. He must've realized his doggie faux pas pretty quickly because with a whine of consternation, he realized his lady friend had walked off without noticing his manly marking. So he ran after her, pranced, sniffed her tush, pranced some more, attempted to hump her (which was immediately discouraged) and then pranced over to a tree and lo and behold....he lifted his leg to pee! For one teensy tinsy split tenth of a second I was proud of my overgrown fuzz face....and then he tripped and fell on his nose. My dog can't balance on three legs and pee at the same time, it takes too much concentration.
I suppose the lady found Remus's clumsyness somehow cute and endearing, because while she discouraged his attempts to hump her (which were pretty half hearted after the first attempt becuase he knew he wasn't supposed to) she happily licked his nose and ran around the park with him. I guess she was saying she "just wants to be friends." Poor Remus. She left the park first and when I led him to the car he dragged behind me, head down, feet plodding. So many milestones: Lifting a leg to pee, finding first love, experiencing his first heartbreak. C'est la vie...
Well, my own big doofus puppy, Remus, turned 1 year on June 17, and my fully male 120+ lb dog had yet to lift a leg to pee, preferring to squat lady like to do his tinkle. It was getting embarrassing. Especailly since his dangling cahones were kinda hard to miss. Today it was overcast and not 90 degrees outside, so I figured I'd take Remus to the dog park. Only one other large dog was there, a beautiful black and tan lady mutt about the size of a black lab with a thick fluffy coat that had also been shaved for the summer heat. This lady was also around a year old, however she was fixed. Remus didn't seem to register the difference.
He arched his neck, carried his tail higher than I've ever seen him, and alternated between prancing stiff legged in front of her and trying to shove his nose up her butt. Literally, he followed her around with his nose firmly connected to her nether regions. My dog was experiencing his first puppy love. I don't know if it was the flood of testosterone or just the desire to impress his lady, but for the first time since we've had Remus he decided he wanted to mark. So he popped his customary squat and gave a little squirt. He must've realized his doggie faux pas pretty quickly because with a whine of consternation, he realized his lady friend had walked off without noticing his manly marking. So he ran after her, pranced, sniffed her tush, pranced some more, attempted to hump her (which was immediately discouraged) and then pranced over to a tree and lo and behold....he lifted his leg to pee! For one teensy tinsy split tenth of a second I was proud of my overgrown fuzz face....and then he tripped and fell on his nose. My dog can't balance on three legs and pee at the same time, it takes too much concentration.
I suppose the lady found Remus's clumsyness somehow cute and endearing, because while she discouraged his attempts to hump her (which were pretty half hearted after the first attempt becuase he knew he wasn't supposed to) she happily licked his nose and ran around the park with him. I guess she was saying she "just wants to be friends." Poor Remus. She left the park first and when I led him to the car he dragged behind me, head down, feet plodding. So many milestones: Lifting a leg to pee, finding first love, experiencing his first heartbreak. C'est la vie...
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