This past weekend my niece, Emma, who is 3 months old, rolled over from her belly to her back for the first time. Everyone was ecstatic and cheering, one of the baby milestones had been met and the whole family was there to witness it! Woo!
Well, my own big doofus puppy, Remus, turned 1 year on June 17, and my fully male 120+ lb dog had yet to lift a leg to pee, preferring to squat lady like to do his tinkle. It was getting embarrassing. Especailly since his dangling cahones were kinda hard to miss. Today it was overcast and not 90 degrees outside, so I figured I'd take Remus to the dog park. Only one other large dog was there, a beautiful black and tan lady mutt about the size of a black lab with a thick fluffy coat that had also been shaved for the summer heat. This lady was also around a year old, however she was fixed. Remus didn't seem to register the difference.
He arched his neck, carried his tail higher than I've ever seen him, and alternated between prancing stiff legged in front of her and trying to shove his nose up her butt. Literally, he followed her around with his nose firmly connected to her nether regions. My dog was experiencing his first puppy love. I don't know if it was the flood of testosterone or just the desire to impress his lady, but for the first time since we've had Remus he decided he wanted to mark. So he popped his customary squat and gave a little squirt. He must've realized his doggie faux pas pretty quickly because with a whine of consternation, he realized his lady friend had walked off without noticing his manly marking. So he ran after her, pranced, sniffed her tush, pranced some more, attempted to hump her (which was immediately discouraged) and then pranced over to a tree and lo and behold....he lifted his leg to pee! For one teensy tinsy split tenth of a second I was proud of my overgrown fuzz face....and then he tripped and fell on his nose. My dog can't balance on three legs and pee at the same time, it takes too much concentration.
I suppose the lady found Remus's clumsyness somehow cute and endearing, because while she discouraged his attempts to hump her (which were pretty half hearted after the first attempt becuase he knew he wasn't supposed to) she happily licked his nose and ran around the park with him. I guess she was saying she "just wants to be friends." Poor Remus. She left the park first and when I led him to the car he dragged behind me, head down, feet plodding. So many milestones: Lifting a leg to pee, finding first love, experiencing his first heartbreak. C'est la vie...
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Hoarding...
When I was younger, I could've been a candidate for the TV Show "Hoarders". My bedroom was a disaster some of the time, but since I shared it with my sister I actually did have to keep it semi clean every once in awhile. However, the bedroom had two closets, one was a long shallow closet that we actually used, and the other a narrow walk in closet. I claimed the walk in closet as my space. It was a fantastical mess. I say fantastical because it was like a magic treasure trove. I'd be sitting on a heap of junk, shift my weight, and voila! A toy I hadn't thought about in 6 months would appear! It was wonderful. And also a disaster. My mom called me a pack rat because I had this irrational fear that if I threw anything out I would instantly need it within the next 24 hours for something exceedingly important and crucial. I had all these grandiose plans for my stuff that never actually happened-usually because I forgot about the grandiose plans as the stuff sunk slowely deeper into the abyss and out of my immediate view.
Well, I'd thought I'd kicked the hoarding habit, or at least contained it within reason, as I grew up and faithfully purged wherever I was living from accumulation every few months. But this weekend, I realized in shock that I hadn't kicked the habit at all, I had just organized it.
My sisters and I gleefully brought our scrapbooks for viewing this weekend, swapping the stories of our lifes and ooing and aaahing at the clever uses of hole punches or the cut out collage of pictures. We then shared stickers and quote packs and fancy paper, commenting on how our husbands now saved ticket stubs and programs and all manner of receipts to satisfy our scrapbook piles. I very happily shoveled my newly acquired stuff into my uncompleted scrapbook and happily unloaded it onto the floor when I got home. It wasn't until later when I was cleaning my room from scrapbook scraps and trying to decide what stubs to save and what to discard that I had my epiphany.
Scrapbooking was no more than a socially acceptable method of organized hoarding.
I SITLL have piles of junk in my closet, saved against the day when I just might need them for that scrapbook page I was working on. They are better organized piles, neatly tucked into a giant trunk, some of it also sorted into seperate shoe boxes or plastic containters, but they are still piles. Not only that, but what is a scrapbook but a careful hoarding of memories? Forever perserved in double sided tape and stickers. Decades and decades from now they will literally be junk, old faded paper and yellowed photographs of people nobody knows.
That thought almost had me throwing in the towel on the whole scrapbooking institution. But then I realized, what does it matter if they DO become worthless piles of trash in the future? I'll be happy in heaven with the people who made up those memory pages in the first place. But right now, they do have value. One, they allow me an outlet for my hoarding addiction; and Two, I can't explain how nice it is to have all that concrete evidence of my memories and to open someone elses book up and explore theirs. People have been collecting and perserving momentos of their lives for years, stored up for sweet remembering and tale telling. I scrapbook because it makes me happy, and keeps my desire to save things from growing into uncontrollable compost heaps. Bite me.
So to conclude; I am a hoarder, but I don't have a problem, I've figured out the solution.
And I say, hoard on fellow scrapbookers! May your double-sided tape never crinkle and your glue stick never dry out. Keep your scissors sharp and your memories sharper and I'll join you at the Michael's clearance rack whenever I may.
Well, I'd thought I'd kicked the hoarding habit, or at least contained it within reason, as I grew up and faithfully purged wherever I was living from accumulation every few months. But this weekend, I realized in shock that I hadn't kicked the habit at all, I had just organized it.
My sisters and I gleefully brought our scrapbooks for viewing this weekend, swapping the stories of our lifes and ooing and aaahing at the clever uses of hole punches or the cut out collage of pictures. We then shared stickers and quote packs and fancy paper, commenting on how our husbands now saved ticket stubs and programs and all manner of receipts to satisfy our scrapbook piles. I very happily shoveled my newly acquired stuff into my uncompleted scrapbook and happily unloaded it onto the floor when I got home. It wasn't until later when I was cleaning my room from scrapbook scraps and trying to decide what stubs to save and what to discard that I had my epiphany.
Scrapbooking was no more than a socially acceptable method of organized hoarding.
I SITLL have piles of junk in my closet, saved against the day when I just might need them for that scrapbook page I was working on. They are better organized piles, neatly tucked into a giant trunk, some of it also sorted into seperate shoe boxes or plastic containters, but they are still piles. Not only that, but what is a scrapbook but a careful hoarding of memories? Forever perserved in double sided tape and stickers. Decades and decades from now they will literally be junk, old faded paper and yellowed photographs of people nobody knows.
That thought almost had me throwing in the towel on the whole scrapbooking institution. But then I realized, what does it matter if they DO become worthless piles of trash in the future? I'll be happy in heaven with the people who made up those memory pages in the first place. But right now, they do have value. One, they allow me an outlet for my hoarding addiction; and Two, I can't explain how nice it is to have all that concrete evidence of my memories and to open someone elses book up and explore theirs. People have been collecting and perserving momentos of their lives for years, stored up for sweet remembering and tale telling. I scrapbook because it makes me happy, and keeps my desire to save things from growing into uncontrollable compost heaps. Bite me.
So to conclude; I am a hoarder, but I don't have a problem, I've figured out the solution.
And I say, hoard on fellow scrapbookers! May your double-sided tape never crinkle and your glue stick never dry out. Keep your scissors sharp and your memories sharper and I'll join you at the Michael's clearance rack whenever I may.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Driver's Ed post script
I saw a new lane changer today. I've seen it happen before, but I didn't remember it in time to write it in my Driver's Ed post, so I'm adding it as a post script.
The Fake Out: This lane changer has all kinds of mixed signals. A nervous breed of driver, often the very young or the very old, this driver knows the legistics of lane changing but hasn't quite mastered the technique. They'll flick on their blinker in the direction they want to turn and leave it on for approximately 3 seconds and then they'll turn it off, wait 2 seconds, and then floor it into the other lane. You can almost hear the relief roar out of the engine as they congratulate themselves on succesfully navigating the trechary of lane changing without getting squashed by a bigger car. They have many near misses, because the turn signal flick on on then off before any attempt at lane changing has begun just makes other drivers think they hit the signal by accident, so other drivers are taken by surprise when this car darts out into the other lane, the Fake Out driver's knuckles turning white with the tension of his death grip on the steering wheel. Amusing to watch from a safe distance, annoying up close and personal.
Thats all!
Oh, except I had an extremely unpleasent experience on scene of a call last night because they dispatcher was an idiot and told us the police were on scene and the scene was safe when the police hadn't even been dispatched. Yeah. So when some guy runs up to the ambulance and throws open my door to yell at me I have nothing but a ToughBook to bash his head in if his intentions are hostile. Thanks a bunch.
THATS all. Toodles!
The Fake Out: This lane changer has all kinds of mixed signals. A nervous breed of driver, often the very young or the very old, this driver knows the legistics of lane changing but hasn't quite mastered the technique. They'll flick on their blinker in the direction they want to turn and leave it on for approximately 3 seconds and then they'll turn it off, wait 2 seconds, and then floor it into the other lane. You can almost hear the relief roar out of the engine as they congratulate themselves on succesfully navigating the trechary of lane changing without getting squashed by a bigger car. They have many near misses, because the turn signal flick on on then off before any attempt at lane changing has begun just makes other drivers think they hit the signal by accident, so other drivers are taken by surprise when this car darts out into the other lane, the Fake Out driver's knuckles turning white with the tension of his death grip on the steering wheel. Amusing to watch from a safe distance, annoying up close and personal.
Thats all!
Oh, except I had an extremely unpleasent experience on scene of a call last night because they dispatcher was an idiot and told us the police were on scene and the scene was safe when the police hadn't even been dispatched. Yeah. So when some guy runs up to the ambulance and throws open my door to yell at me I have nothing but a ToughBook to bash his head in if his intentions are hostile. Thanks a bunch.
THATS all. Toodles!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Confidence Curve
I propose that in some jobs there is not only a learning curve, but a confidence curve. And they way the two interrelate can tell you a lot about a person. I guess I've been on a catogorizing high lately-I blame the fact that I'm reading mom's old DSM-IV in my spare time-but here goes.
Type 1: These individuals don't have a confidence curve in the beginning, they have a confidence tower reseambling the Seattle Needle and they are at the very highest point. They may not know much, but they sure think they do! And if they're wrong, it's always someone elses fault. These workers can be extremely frustrating to those who need to train them because some how you have to bring them back to earth a little at a time so they don't screw up so bad and get fired. In the medical field, this is doubly delicate because we're dealing with human life and limb and overconfidence can be detrimental, but underconfidence can be just as bad. Finding a balance is rough. Employee's who at last see a dropping of their confidence line may always be a little unrealistically higher than where their learning curve is, but it is a little more reasonable. It usually takes several major chewing out and mistakes to get them to that point however, and their confidence curve doesn't so much resemble a slope as it does stairs going down as their egos are dropped one small notch at a time.
Type 2: I consider these confidence-learners to be ideal, and I can only think of a few people to whom this might apply. These individuals gain confidence as they learn in tandem. Oh, I mastered that skill? My confidence just went up a notch. They have beautiful sided by side progressions from baseline up to the intended target. Unfortunately, these individuals can-not always, but sometimes-turn into insufferable know-it-alls. I say insufferable because unlike the over confident know-it-alls, these individuals ARE actually always right...because they don't say anything unless they know they are right...and they know they are right because they've learned whatever it is and are confident enough to assert that they're right. See?
Type 3: The underconfident. These individuals are nearly crippled by lack of confidence and with the wrong type of instructor their underconfidence can effect their learning progression. There is no need to worry about over-praising and making these confidence types over confident because their is a constant nagging voice telling them they just don't know enough-aren't smart enough-aren't experienced enough, etc. A little praise can actually go a long way. Their confidence starts slowly rising long after their learning has begun it's climb, in fact you might want to use to different charts to timeline it, because theirs usually a huge gap between the two. If the underconfident don't get a grip on themselves they too end up fired, because underconfidence can lead to major delays in crucial decisions, which isn't good for any business.
Type 4: The Yo-yo. I place myself firmly in this category. I began as an underconfident-learner, almost crippled with fear that whatever decision I'd make would invariably be wrong and bring the world to an end. But as my career has progressed I've had spikes of confidence-sometimes over confidence-and then plummeting back to underconfidence or somewhere in between. My learning curve-I'd like to think-has been pretty steady, and when I can be objective I know I know a heck of a lot more than when I started even if there is still more for me to learn. My spikes in confidence tend to relate to seveal weeks of good patient care, a good "Code" or two, or any other "positive" event at work. The drops tend to relate to the opposite. The issue with the Yo-yo types is they have a hard time keeping proper perspective. Instead of acknowledging "crap happens" and being cautious about the highs as much as the lows, thus allowing a nice steady progression of confidence, their confidence bounces all over the place.
I submit that most people don't belong entirely in one category or the other, we all have ups and downs in confidence, but I also submit that confidence and learning go hand in hand, and keeping an eye on how both progress is a good idea. Also, I'm not going to get into the tangled psychoanalysis of WHY people belong in one category or another, or if the "over confident" are really "extremely insecure" or any of the other underlying psychological conditions. My blog isn't long enough for all of that.
Also, I'm probably on a confidence spike right now because of a recent Cardiac Arrest patient who got a pulse back and I got a successful intubation while in the back of an ambulance going emergency traffic. But thats ok, I'm going to try and enjoy the high while acknowledging realistically that one good cardiac arrest doesn't make me a master....Nope, I'm the bomb. Thats all there is to it. ;)
Type 1: These individuals don't have a confidence curve in the beginning, they have a confidence tower reseambling the Seattle Needle and they are at the very highest point. They may not know much, but they sure think they do! And if they're wrong, it's always someone elses fault. These workers can be extremely frustrating to those who need to train them because some how you have to bring them back to earth a little at a time so they don't screw up so bad and get fired. In the medical field, this is doubly delicate because we're dealing with human life and limb and overconfidence can be detrimental, but underconfidence can be just as bad. Finding a balance is rough. Employee's who at last see a dropping of their confidence line may always be a little unrealistically higher than where their learning curve is, but it is a little more reasonable. It usually takes several major chewing out and mistakes to get them to that point however, and their confidence curve doesn't so much resemble a slope as it does stairs going down as their egos are dropped one small notch at a time.
Type 2: I consider these confidence-learners to be ideal, and I can only think of a few people to whom this might apply. These individuals gain confidence as they learn in tandem. Oh, I mastered that skill? My confidence just went up a notch. They have beautiful sided by side progressions from baseline up to the intended target. Unfortunately, these individuals can-not always, but sometimes-turn into insufferable know-it-alls. I say insufferable because unlike the over confident know-it-alls, these individuals ARE actually always right...because they don't say anything unless they know they are right...and they know they are right because they've learned whatever it is and are confident enough to assert that they're right. See?
Type 3: The underconfident. These individuals are nearly crippled by lack of confidence and with the wrong type of instructor their underconfidence can effect their learning progression. There is no need to worry about over-praising and making these confidence types over confident because their is a constant nagging voice telling them they just don't know enough-aren't smart enough-aren't experienced enough, etc. A little praise can actually go a long way. Their confidence starts slowly rising long after their learning has begun it's climb, in fact you might want to use to different charts to timeline it, because theirs usually a huge gap between the two. If the underconfident don't get a grip on themselves they too end up fired, because underconfidence can lead to major delays in crucial decisions, which isn't good for any business.
Type 4: The Yo-yo. I place myself firmly in this category. I began as an underconfident-learner, almost crippled with fear that whatever decision I'd make would invariably be wrong and bring the world to an end. But as my career has progressed I've had spikes of confidence-sometimes over confidence-and then plummeting back to underconfidence or somewhere in between. My learning curve-I'd like to think-has been pretty steady, and when I can be objective I know I know a heck of a lot more than when I started even if there is still more for me to learn. My spikes in confidence tend to relate to seveal weeks of good patient care, a good "Code" or two, or any other "positive" event at work. The drops tend to relate to the opposite. The issue with the Yo-yo types is they have a hard time keeping proper perspective. Instead of acknowledging "crap happens" and being cautious about the highs as much as the lows, thus allowing a nice steady progression of confidence, their confidence bounces all over the place.
I submit that most people don't belong entirely in one category or the other, we all have ups and downs in confidence, but I also submit that confidence and learning go hand in hand, and keeping an eye on how both progress is a good idea. Also, I'm not going to get into the tangled psychoanalysis of WHY people belong in one category or another, or if the "over confident" are really "extremely insecure" or any of the other underlying psychological conditions. My blog isn't long enough for all of that.
Also, I'm probably on a confidence spike right now because of a recent Cardiac Arrest patient who got a pulse back and I got a successful intubation while in the back of an ambulance going emergency traffic. But thats ok, I'm going to try and enjoy the high while acknowledging realistically that one good cardiac arrest doesn't make me a master....Nope, I'm the bomb. Thats all there is to it. ;)
Monday, June 6, 2011
Drivers Ed
As a paramedic I do a considerable amount of driving, not only the forty minute commute to and from work, but also the 12 hours of driving an ambulance all over the county during shift. I've begun to see patterns in driving behavior and today I'd like to share the categories I've created for lane changes.
When driving the ambulance, I get cut off on a regular basis. The truck is slow to accelerate-especially w/a pt in the back-and slow to brake as well. People don't want to get stuck behind an ambulance. With that in mind, I will begin the categories with the rarest of all lane changers. SO rare, I think I've only seen it ever happen a handful of times. I can't come up with a fancy name for this type of lane change so I shall simply label them:
The Correct Lane Changers: These very rare breeds are going at a moderately faster speed than you are, ensure that they are a few car lengths in front of you and no red lights are changing in the near path of travel before indicating with their turn signal for a few seconds and then smoothly changing lanes. I believe these drivers lead well adjusted happy lives with good stress coping mechanisms and are always punctual. Perhaps that is why they are so rare.
The Drifters: These lane changers have their head in the clouds. They don't use turn signals, I don't think they're even aware of the lane change until it's over-if even then. These drivers sometimes indicate their lane change by slowly hugging the dotted line for a few feet and then tire by tire they just...float...across...The dangerous thing about drifters is they're often prone to slam on their brakes when they finally do realize they've cut off an ambulance, but thankfully this is usually quickly followed by flooring it. My theory is it's a delayed guilt reaction. Drifters, I feel, are generally good people and not horrible drivers, but they're tired, or they're preoccupied and they just aren't entirely paying attention.
The Dragonfly: These are the ones your parent used to mutter "THOSE are the drivers the police should be pulling over. That is so reckless." But secretly, most of us are a bit jealous. These drivers don't use turn signals, they don't have the time for them. They dart in and out of traffic, squeezing in front of you so briefly you barely have time to flick them off before they're gone. Yes, they are a speeding, yes, they are reckless, yes-as a paramedic-I'm already thinking about having to backboard them when they eventually wreck...but for the moment, these quick changing dare devils make rush hour traffic look so easy.
The Self Righteous: I had a personal run in with one of these a few days ago. These drivers have both hands on the wheel, a seatbelt is on every person in the vehicle, back of the seat is straight up and down, turn signal is ON! And on....and on....and on... The Self Righteous truly wants to be a correct lane changer, but they invariably forget two key points. One, when you put on your turn signal, it is indicating you are moving in that direction in the immediate or near immediate future...not ten minutes down the road. When you don't move, people stop believing your turn signal. Also, although the Self Righteous check their mirrors religiously, they don't check their blind spots. So these dangerous bad boys are the epitome of unpredictible. They say they're getting over with their turn signal, but they dont, did they just forget its on? are they going to move now? it's been three minutes and they're slowing down with that lane of traffic but they still haven't gotten over...BAM! They make a mad dash for the other lane, without checking to see if a car is next to them. Sometimes they notice in time and swerve just as violently back into their original lane of travel gesticulating wildly, or in my case, they run into the other car. The driver was extremely irritated, got out of his car and yelled at me "I had my turn signal on!" Yes, you did, but see I was actually driving in the other lane...
The Red Light Thief: A very popular one for cutting off the ambulance which is really not a good idea since ambulances take a bit of time to stop... These lane changers are also often habitual tailgaters, but not always. They are a beast to be taken into consideration every time a stop light is approached. These drivers decide on impulse that the other lane will move faster when the light changes. So, even though they are practically stopped and there is a car (or ambulance) fast approaching the light in that other lane, this driver decides to make a break for it. Light Thieves are a nuisance.
The Lazy Boy: These drivers are cousins to the Drifters-they take their sweet time crossing lanes. The distinguishing factor, however, is the turn signal. Lazy Boys will briefly flick the turn signal on after almost completing the entire lane change. It's a brief flicker, only a tap, and seems to indicate not so much "I am going to move to the left" as "I moved to the left, oh yeah, here's my signal." Lazy Boy's often drive pick up trucks or utility vans.
The Procrastinator: This driver often ends up in serious accidents. The Procrastinator is in the farthest possible lane from the direction he needs to turn in less than fifty feet. The Procrastinator also tends to frequent major highways with 6 or more lanes. These drivers don't exactly change lanes, they cut through them at an almost perpendicular angle to make an impossible turn on two wheels. The Procrastinator uses his turn signal like the Lord's Prayer, hoping that the blinking will stave off disaster as they fly across the lanes. A particular annoyance-although it is slightly amusing-is when a procrastinator needs to turn left while I'm driving lights and sirens down a highway. The Procrastinator flies across the lanes and cuts off the ambulance then realizes we're driving emergency traffic (I liberally use the air horn to emphasize this point) and the Procrastinator either flies back across traffic (again, without really paying attention to other drivers) or slams on his/her brakes right in front of the ambulance. Not your brightest driver, Procrastinators are often intoxicated or hopelessly lost or both.
Me First: The Me First driver is, in my opinion, one of the most frustrating lane changers to experience. These drivers hate to be passed, they-like their title says-have to be first. So even if the car in front of them is going five or more over, these drivers simply HAVE to speed up around them and cut them off. Whats worse, after they pull in front of the other driver they often slow down, ambling along at inconsistent speeds between slow complacency and race car driver to ensure that other car doesn't pass them. I loath Me First drivers.
These are all the categories I have for now, they popped into my head while driving routine to the hospital and witnessing two Drifters and a Red Light Thief change lanes in front of me. Anybody have another category?
When driving the ambulance, I get cut off on a regular basis. The truck is slow to accelerate-especially w/a pt in the back-and slow to brake as well. People don't want to get stuck behind an ambulance. With that in mind, I will begin the categories with the rarest of all lane changers. SO rare, I think I've only seen it ever happen a handful of times. I can't come up with a fancy name for this type of lane change so I shall simply label them:
The Correct Lane Changers: These very rare breeds are going at a moderately faster speed than you are, ensure that they are a few car lengths in front of you and no red lights are changing in the near path of travel before indicating with their turn signal for a few seconds and then smoothly changing lanes. I believe these drivers lead well adjusted happy lives with good stress coping mechanisms and are always punctual. Perhaps that is why they are so rare.
The Drifters: These lane changers have their head in the clouds. They don't use turn signals, I don't think they're even aware of the lane change until it's over-if even then. These drivers sometimes indicate their lane change by slowly hugging the dotted line for a few feet and then tire by tire they just...float...across...The dangerous thing about drifters is they're often prone to slam on their brakes when they finally do realize they've cut off an ambulance, but thankfully this is usually quickly followed by flooring it. My theory is it's a delayed guilt reaction. Drifters, I feel, are generally good people and not horrible drivers, but they're tired, or they're preoccupied and they just aren't entirely paying attention.
The Dragonfly: These are the ones your parent used to mutter "THOSE are the drivers the police should be pulling over. That is so reckless." But secretly, most of us are a bit jealous. These drivers don't use turn signals, they don't have the time for them. They dart in and out of traffic, squeezing in front of you so briefly you barely have time to flick them off before they're gone. Yes, they are a speeding, yes, they are reckless, yes-as a paramedic-I'm already thinking about having to backboard them when they eventually wreck...but for the moment, these quick changing dare devils make rush hour traffic look so easy.
The Self Righteous: I had a personal run in with one of these a few days ago. These drivers have both hands on the wheel, a seatbelt is on every person in the vehicle, back of the seat is straight up and down, turn signal is ON! And on....and on....and on... The Self Righteous truly wants to be a correct lane changer, but they invariably forget two key points. One, when you put on your turn signal, it is indicating you are moving in that direction in the immediate or near immediate future...not ten minutes down the road. When you don't move, people stop believing your turn signal. Also, although the Self Righteous check their mirrors religiously, they don't check their blind spots. So these dangerous bad boys are the epitome of unpredictible. They say they're getting over with their turn signal, but they dont, did they just forget its on? are they going to move now? it's been three minutes and they're slowing down with that lane of traffic but they still haven't gotten over...BAM! They make a mad dash for the other lane, without checking to see if a car is next to them. Sometimes they notice in time and swerve just as violently back into their original lane of travel gesticulating wildly, or in my case, they run into the other car. The driver was extremely irritated, got out of his car and yelled at me "I had my turn signal on!" Yes, you did, but see I was actually driving in the other lane...
The Red Light Thief: A very popular one for cutting off the ambulance which is really not a good idea since ambulances take a bit of time to stop... These lane changers are also often habitual tailgaters, but not always. They are a beast to be taken into consideration every time a stop light is approached. These drivers decide on impulse that the other lane will move faster when the light changes. So, even though they are practically stopped and there is a car (or ambulance) fast approaching the light in that other lane, this driver decides to make a break for it. Light Thieves are a nuisance.
The Lazy Boy: These drivers are cousins to the Drifters-they take their sweet time crossing lanes. The distinguishing factor, however, is the turn signal. Lazy Boys will briefly flick the turn signal on after almost completing the entire lane change. It's a brief flicker, only a tap, and seems to indicate not so much "I am going to move to the left" as "I moved to the left, oh yeah, here's my signal." Lazy Boy's often drive pick up trucks or utility vans.
The Procrastinator: This driver often ends up in serious accidents. The Procrastinator is in the farthest possible lane from the direction he needs to turn in less than fifty feet. The Procrastinator also tends to frequent major highways with 6 or more lanes. These drivers don't exactly change lanes, they cut through them at an almost perpendicular angle to make an impossible turn on two wheels. The Procrastinator uses his turn signal like the Lord's Prayer, hoping that the blinking will stave off disaster as they fly across the lanes. A particular annoyance-although it is slightly amusing-is when a procrastinator needs to turn left while I'm driving lights and sirens down a highway. The Procrastinator flies across the lanes and cuts off the ambulance then realizes we're driving emergency traffic (I liberally use the air horn to emphasize this point) and the Procrastinator either flies back across traffic (again, without really paying attention to other drivers) or slams on his/her brakes right in front of the ambulance. Not your brightest driver, Procrastinators are often intoxicated or hopelessly lost or both.
Me First: The Me First driver is, in my opinion, one of the most frustrating lane changers to experience. These drivers hate to be passed, they-like their title says-have to be first. So even if the car in front of them is going five or more over, these drivers simply HAVE to speed up around them and cut them off. Whats worse, after they pull in front of the other driver they often slow down, ambling along at inconsistent speeds between slow complacency and race car driver to ensure that other car doesn't pass them. I loath Me First drivers.
These are all the categories I have for now, they popped into my head while driving routine to the hospital and witnessing two Drifters and a Red Light Thief change lanes in front of me. Anybody have another category?
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Picture post :)
Emma Elizabeth Vincent
Cutest baby EVER! I love this picture, she's got spunk :)
Remus picks that bone up and literally flings it across the room...into walls...cabinets...on top of the stove...
What a doofus :)
Post shave. Oy, he's so skinny! I'll be doing touch ups tomorrow to try and tame the face, but it was too hot to keep him outside for long.
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