The internet is down at the house. All attempts so far to fix it have been futile (I turned it off and then on again, Brian tried some fancy tests and actually called tech support) and Brian may be MIA for the next three weeks. So, my few faithful followers, my blog is probably going to be down for the count until I can fix it-or at least the posts will be a lot shorter because they will be made from my phone. A bummer, truly, because I have pictures to add.
Also, I may be following the trend and moving over to wordpress after giving it a trial run. I especially like the "like" options on the comments. But first, I'm considering revamping this whole blog. Although Remus is still an integral part of my life, my posts deal less and less with him and much more about everything else. I'm thinking about putting a creative spin on it since I've really been trying to encourage my often supressed "artsy-crafty" genes. I may keep a page for EMS tidbits, but I am wary of saying anything that may violate HIPPA. Remus will still be a key player-I can't really go anywhere without the fuzzbutt-but I'd like to find a little focus. SO, I will repost what I can when I can, thanks for reading. :)
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Wolfhound Chaperone
I'll try to keep this from spilling into the TMI category, but it's too funny not to share. Brian and I spend the majority of our time at home in the kitchen or living room. Remus's domain is the kitchen, but we let him think he is fooling us when he sneaks out to sleep behind the couch everyonce in awhile. Well, Brian is an affectionate person and will kiss me on the neck or shoulder when I'm cooking, doing the dishes or standing around looking dazed because I've forgotten what I was planning to do (happens more frequently then the dishes). Remus has decided this behavior is unacceptable.
Recently, every time Brian has started being affectionate, Remus will start make weird groaning/moaning noises and then jump into his play stance (butt up, chest down, feet splayed) and bark. If I start laughing, his head will raise and his ears will perk up and he'll look at me like, "Are you done?" And then Brian, who takes the Remus interruption as a challenge, just makes things worse and Remus goes back to weird noises and barking. I'm pretty sure it is the doggy equivalant to "Get a ROOM!" and it is hilarious. I laugh helplessly everytime it happens, Remus is just so adamant! And the groaning noises are really weird, REALLY weird.
The joys of pet ownership :)
Recently, every time Brian has started being affectionate, Remus will start make weird groaning/moaning noises and then jump into his play stance (butt up, chest down, feet splayed) and bark. If I start laughing, his head will raise and his ears will perk up and he'll look at me like, "Are you done?" And then Brian, who takes the Remus interruption as a challenge, just makes things worse and Remus goes back to weird noises and barking. I'm pretty sure it is the doggy equivalant to "Get a ROOM!" and it is hilarious. I laugh helplessly everytime it happens, Remus is just so adamant! And the groaning noises are really weird, REALLY weird.
The joys of pet ownership :)
Link Up Fail
So after last Wednesday's "Wondrous Words" link up by Bermuda Onion, I was all excited to do it again this Wednesday. I picked up King Lear and put it in my bag for work with all sorts of good intentions. Well, I didn't completely flake out on the reading, I DID read...a little...ok maybe like three pages. Unfortunately, there were no new words on those three pages so I have nothing to contribute to the link up. :/ Shame on me. I thought about going to dictionary.com and looking up some bizzare words to make it look like I was reading something super smarty pants worthy, but I resisted the deception. Instead, I'm falling back on an old standby and providing snippets from the ambulance.
Background info: Pt calls 911, they talk to dispatch, dispatch sends us on the call. First they push this really annoying button that sends out a high pitched call tone and then they give the basic info like "Medic 10, 10Delta2 chest pain, at *address*, Medic 10." We respond in service, they repeat the info, we then respond in route and they give us the trip number (for our charts) and our times (time call was received, time it was dispatched, time we're enroute) and then they give pt descriptors and the chief complaint (cc or c/o for "complaining of") All dispatch radio traffic is public domain, you can go to your local dispatch center and listen to it for kicks and giggles, here are a few of my favorites from the past few days.
Dispatch: "Pt smoked crack today and is sad now."
Dispatch: "Pt complaining of extreme itchiness" (This pt put toothpaste on bug bites with no relief)
Dispatch: "Pt complaining of insomnia"
Dispatch: "Medic 10, cancel the call, pt has removed item from his ear. No further assistance needed." (Item was an, ahem, adult toy...no idea what it was doing near his ear.)
Dispatch: "It's a finger stabbing, stage for SO." (Sherriff's Office) We had two finger stabbings in a row that night.
Dispatch: "Respond to a 29D2 (car crash), pt struck a utility pole...." "...pt is EtOH" (Drunk) ..."Pt ran into the pole on foot..." (wow. Drunk drivers take out utility poles all the time, but without the car? Impressive)
Hope you enjoyed :) Maybe next Wednesday I won't have been such a slacker.
Background info: Pt calls 911, they talk to dispatch, dispatch sends us on the call. First they push this really annoying button that sends out a high pitched call tone and then they give the basic info like "Medic 10, 10Delta2 chest pain, at *address*, Medic 10." We respond in service, they repeat the info, we then respond in route and they give us the trip number (for our charts) and our times (time call was received, time it was dispatched, time we're enroute) and then they give pt descriptors and the chief complaint (cc or c/o for "complaining of") All dispatch radio traffic is public domain, you can go to your local dispatch center and listen to it for kicks and giggles, here are a few of my favorites from the past few days.
Dispatch: "Pt smoked crack today and is sad now."
Dispatch: "Pt complaining of extreme itchiness" (This pt put toothpaste on bug bites with no relief)
Dispatch: "Pt complaining of insomnia"
Dispatch: "Medic 10, cancel the call, pt has removed item from his ear. No further assistance needed." (Item was an, ahem, adult toy...no idea what it was doing near his ear.)
Dispatch: "It's a finger stabbing, stage for SO." (Sherriff's Office) We had two finger stabbings in a row that night.
Dispatch: "Respond to a 29D2 (car crash), pt struck a utility pole...." "...pt is EtOH" (Drunk) ..."Pt ran into the pole on foot..." (wow. Drunk drivers take out utility poles all the time, but without the car? Impressive)
Hope you enjoyed :) Maybe next Wednesday I won't have been such a slacker.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Mini Painting Epiphanies
It's not very reassuring when you are working on a painting and your husband glances over and goes "Ohhhhhhh THATS what that is!" but I guess it is a testament to the fact that eventually whatever I am painting does end up resembling what I want it to resemble. In this case it is a very small canvas where I am informally painting an image stuck in my head from one of the suicides we went to back in February. Not pleasant, I know, and I've actually typed up a brief description of the scene but have refrained from posting it on here because I don't think it's something people will want to read. However, writing and painting are both good stress relieving outlets for me, and this particular call was higher emotional stress than some. The painting is coming on nicely for it being impromptu and hurried, it's done less for any sort of artistic reason and more as a way for me to constructively deal with the mental images. The moment of recognition for my husband came when he realized I had painted a room and a hallway, not a bunch of abstract geometry.
My other painting-the ADD painting- is coming along really nicely if I do say so myself. I had a brief epiphany last night as I was painting that this was MY painting so I could paint whatever I wanted. I get sucked in to the people pleasing attitude so much that I was worried about adding things that people wouldn't like. Silly, really, when you take the time to consider that as a painting reflecting my interpretation of ADD it is entirely my interpretation and what people think about it doesn't matter-they can paint their own. So yes, I did add butterflies, lightening bugs, and a cluster of tiny mushrooms at the foot of the tree dividing the picture. I also touched up the moon and am contemplating adding clouds. Once it dries enough (I'm guessing in about a month) I'll start the last, overarching part of the painting and then it'll be FINISHED!
I don't know if you truly understand how big of a deal it is for me to finish a project, but it's a pretty big deal. I will be posting pictures of at least the ADD painting on here, though it's such a large canvas the pictures I've taken so far really miss out on all the detail work I've done which is a little frustrating.
Time to go find something else creative to do :)
My other painting-the ADD painting- is coming along really nicely if I do say so myself. I had a brief epiphany last night as I was painting that this was MY painting so I could paint whatever I wanted. I get sucked in to the people pleasing attitude so much that I was worried about adding things that people wouldn't like. Silly, really, when you take the time to consider that as a painting reflecting my interpretation of ADD it is entirely my interpretation and what people think about it doesn't matter-they can paint their own. So yes, I did add butterflies, lightening bugs, and a cluster of tiny mushrooms at the foot of the tree dividing the picture. I also touched up the moon and am contemplating adding clouds. Once it dries enough (I'm guessing in about a month) I'll start the last, overarching part of the painting and then it'll be FINISHED!
I don't know if you truly understand how big of a deal it is for me to finish a project, but it's a pretty big deal. I will be posting pictures of at least the ADD painting on here, though it's such a large canvas the pictures I've taken so far really miss out on all the detail work I've done which is a little frustrating.
Time to go find something else creative to do :)
Saturday, March 31, 2012
My Four Letter Score
WOW. This test is like magic! I've heard/read references to this personality test for years, but I've never actually taken it until now. I'm in the midst of some pretty major life decisions and am scrambling to sort myself out with the help of the convinient therapist I have on speed dail (AKA, my mother). She sent me a link to a Values Test which left me puzzled and frustrated because many of my values are in direct opposition. For example, my top value is "Privacy" and the close second is "Concern for others Wellbeing". Meaning, I desire alone time and helping people simultaneously. Hard to do both. Anyway, after reading my sister's post (she's a Mastermind, and after reading the profile it fits her PERFECTLY) I had to try this test as well.
I am an INFJ. My title isn't as cool as Mastermind (which, it turns out Brian is a Mastermind, too. Hey Rebecca, you and Brian are true personality buddies!) I'm "The Counselor" but the description hits so close to home it's eerie. Here's the link to the counselor description and another link, and here's the link to the test.
Summary Description
Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists -- INFJs gravitate toward such a role -- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.
INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ.
"There's something rotten in Denmark." Accurately suspicious about others' motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.
INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.
Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.
My favorite descriptions of my personality trait are from the first link.
**Not usually visible leaders, Counselors prefer to work intensely with those close to them, especially on a one-to-one basis, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes.
**Although they are happy working at jobs (such as writing) that require solitude and close attention, Counselors do quite well with individuals or groups of people, provided that the personal interactions are not superficial, and that they find some quiet, private time every now and then to recharge their batteries
**Not that Counselors are flighty or scattered; they value their integrity a great deal, but they have mysterious, intricately woven personalities which sometimes puzzle even them. (Hahaha, that could explain some things...)
**Counselors are highly intuitive and can recognize another's emotions or intentions - good or evil - even before that person is aware of them. (Which might explain some of my trust issues and difficulty making solid, meaningful friendships.)
This is a really cool test, and it provided me with a lot of "oh, that makes sense" moments. Fun, thanks Rebecca for the link :)
I am an INFJ. My title isn't as cool as Mastermind (which, it turns out Brian is a Mastermind, too. Hey Rebecca, you and Brian are true personality buddies!) I'm "The Counselor" but the description hits so close to home it's eerie. Here's the link to the counselor description and another link, and here's the link to the test.
Summary Description
Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists -- INFJs gravitate toward such a role -- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.
INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ.
"There's something rotten in Denmark." Accurately suspicious about others' motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.
INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.
Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.
My favorite descriptions of my personality trait are from the first link.
**Not usually visible leaders, Counselors prefer to work intensely with those close to them, especially on a one-to-one basis, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes.
**Although they are happy working at jobs (such as writing) that require solitude and close attention, Counselors do quite well with individuals or groups of people, provided that the personal interactions are not superficial, and that they find some quiet, private time every now and then to recharge their batteries
**Not that Counselors are flighty or scattered; they value their integrity a great deal, but they have mysterious, intricately woven personalities which sometimes puzzle even them. (Hahaha, that could explain some things...)
**Counselors are highly intuitive and can recognize another's emotions or intentions - good or evil - even before that person is aware of them. (Which might explain some of my trust issues and difficulty making solid, meaningful friendships.)
This is a really cool test, and it provided me with a lot of "oh, that makes sense" moments. Fun, thanks Rebecca for the link :)
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Wondrous Words Wednesday
I've been enjoying reading this link up on my sister's blog here , so I figured I'd give it a try.
Hosted by Bermuda Onion
I am currently on a Shakespeare kick. I find the more I read him the more I understand and the more I enjoy his mastery of the english language. However, there are a plethora of words that I am unfamiliar with, or words of whose exact meanings I was unsure (being lazy and just guessing by context instead of looking them up). Here are my selections from "Twelfth Night."
zanies: "I protest I take these wise men that crow so at these set kind of Fools no better than the Fools' zanies."
(1) Subordinate fools in comedies whose function is to imitate the main comic character. (2) assistants, flatterers.
(1) Subordinate fools in comedies whose function is to imitate the main comic character. (2) assistants, flatterers.
nonpariel: "O' such love/Could be but recompensed though you were crowned/The nonpareil of beauty."
Adjective- having no equal, peerless. Noun-A person or thing having no equal. It also means a small pellet of colored sugar for decorating candy, cake, and cookies and a flat, round, bite-sized piece of chocolate covered with this sugar.
Adjective- having no equal, peerless. Noun-A person or thing having no equal. It also means a small pellet of colored sugar for decorating candy, cake, and cookies and a flat, round, bite-sized piece of chocolate covered with this sugar.
consanquineous: "Am not I consanguineous? Am not I of her blood?"
of the same blood, related. (This word was actually self defining, but I thought it was neat and I hadn't heard it before so I figured I'd add it to the list.)
of the same blood, related. (This word was actually self defining, but I thought it was neat and I hadn't heard it before so I figured I'd add it to the list.)
fustian: "A fustian riddle!"
pretentious, pompous
pretentious, pompous
vouchsafed: "My matter hath no voice, lady, but to your own most pregnant and vouchsafed ear."
willing, graciously attentive
willing, graciously attentive
The following are Shakespearing slang. I don't know if they count, but they might be fun to slip in to casual conversation to see who is paying attention.
sneck up: shut up. HA! Going to try this one out at work...
sheep-biter: dog. Derogatory slang used by Thomas Nash to describe a hypocritical Puritan.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Tulips and Braids!
I love my tulips! I am so excited that my bulb planting was successful :) They are the results of my first real garden. I've planted and messed around in my mom's gardens at home with interesting results (the phlox are still out of control phloxing last I checked, though a bit weedy) but this time the gardens are all mine in front of my own house. Somehow that makes them extra special. I planted tulips because they're big and bright and Brian's favorite flower. I planted these in October of last year while he was in Iraq, and I was a little nervous about his reaction because he's a bit OCD and a little protective of our yard. Me deciding on a whim to construct two gardens at the end of the driveway without his direct supervision was probably a little nerve wracking for him as well, BUT without further ado here are the pictures of my success.
These are on the other side of the driveway. Notice how there is only one yellow tulip? Yeah, Brian sprayed weedkiller around my beds. I tried to warn him that weedkiller is indescriminate but he promised me he had been carefull...well, only one of the bordering yellow tulips survived.
The other half of my post is on a hairdo I'm a little bit proud of. After scrolling through all the pinterest do's and thinking "I can do that" the creativity bug finally hit with a vengence one night before work. We have to wear ugly, boring uniforms on the ambulance, the pants are way to short and snap at the belly button and the shirts are plain grey polos which are way too big for me. Ugly, and uncomfortable. So last Saturday night I decided to dress my hair up a little bit. Basically I did three French Braids and then bundled the loose braids into a bunch on top. I added some sparkly clips for fun and called it a night. Viola! :)
Top view! Next time I think I'll be a little more exact with my bundling of braids on top, but I was running out of time before I had to leave for work and I wanted to be able to take pictures.
Thats all for now! Oh, except since I last posted I've had two STEMI calls :) (heartattacks) I never get tired of being able to help people.
These are around the mailbox.
These are on the other side of the driveway. Notice how there is only one yellow tulip? Yeah, Brian sprayed weedkiller around my beds. I tried to warn him that weedkiller is indescriminate but he promised me he had been carefull...well, only one of the bordering yellow tulips survived.The other half of my post is on a hairdo I'm a little bit proud of. After scrolling through all the pinterest do's and thinking "I can do that" the creativity bug finally hit with a vengence one night before work. We have to wear ugly, boring uniforms on the ambulance, the pants are way to short and snap at the belly button and the shirts are plain grey polos which are way too big for me. Ugly, and uncomfortable. So last Saturday night I decided to dress my hair up a little bit. Basically I did three French Braids and then bundled the loose braids into a bunch on top. I added some sparkly clips for fun and called it a night. Viola! :)
I think the upsidedown french braid might be a little crooked, but my normal perfectionist self cut me a little slack since braiding upside down means I have no visual clues to direction and being bent over upside down kinda throws off my orientation. I still think it looks neat :)
Top view! Next time I think I'll be a little more exact with my bundling of braids on top, but I was running out of time before I had to leave for work and I wanted to be able to take pictures.
It took me half an hour-forty minutes to finish, parting my hair actually took the longest. It is really tough to evenly part your hair when it's long, and wet, and you can't see the back of your head. I have a much easier time parting other people's hair, but braiding other people's hair is actually harder than braiding my own. The upside down braid took the longest, I'm still working on getting comfortable braiding like that, it'll take a bit of practice, I was lucky this one turned out so well.
Thats all for now! Oh, except since I last posted I've had two STEMI calls :) (heartattacks) I never get tired of being able to help people.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Bathtime Bravery
Remus hates bath time. Hates it. The first time I put him in the tub and started pouring water via a cup over him off he got so scared he crapped himself. Literally. I had to take my partially soaked pup out, clean the tub, and try again. Double the trauma! I was steadfast in my determination to have a clean dog, though, and took steps to make it as easy and painless as possible. I tried feeding him treats (he refused to eat treats until the fourth or fifth bath, thats how much he hated/was scared of bathtime) I got an extendable shower hose to spray him instead of using a container to pour water. I talked to him, I petted him, I tried to wash him as quick as possible...with varying levels of success.
It's not just baths, my dog is the antithesis of a labrador. He doesn't just dislike water, he is terrified of it. Rivers, creeks, hose water, sprinklers...the only form of water he doesn't mind is puddles, and those only if it is already raining and the water puddles are so muddy I don't think he recognizes it as water. That said, my scardy dog faces bathtime bravely.
I don't have to trick him into the bathroom. I turn the water on, get the nozzle spraying, walk out to the kitchen, and walk him to the bathroom. I don't even need to put a leash on him. He always pauses before he gets into the tub and looks back at me with the saddest expression like "Do I really have to?" but then when I pat the side he dutifully climbs in. There is no fighting, no dragging, no cajoling or tricking. He knows it's coming, and he climbs in anyway. He gets treats during the bath, but he eats them like it is his job, like they bring him no enjoyment whatsoever. He doesn't whimper or whine, he has only attempted to escape once (although if he thinks I'm taking too long he does start to get as close to the outside edge as possible and lean against me to give me a hint) and he even knows not to shake the water off until he's allowed out of the tub. His tail is tucked so far under his body I have to peel it off to wash his belly. And yet he doesn't fuss, he doesn't wiggle, he is a miserable-but cooperative- martyr.
And then after, when I scrub his face with the towel (his absolute favorite part) he is SO HAPPY! It is like he's thinking "THIS IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD! I AM OUT OF THE TUB!" And it never fails, no matter how many times I bathe him, it is right after he gets out (still soggy) that he is just hyper and bouncy and goofy and the happiest he can be. Reminds me that sometimes trials are worth it, if only because of how exciting it is to get to the other side. I just hope I can face my daily, weekly, monthly trials as bravely as Remus faces bathtime. :)
It's not just baths, my dog is the antithesis of a labrador. He doesn't just dislike water, he is terrified of it. Rivers, creeks, hose water, sprinklers...the only form of water he doesn't mind is puddles, and those only if it is already raining and the water puddles are so muddy I don't think he recognizes it as water. That said, my scardy dog faces bathtime bravely.
I don't have to trick him into the bathroom. I turn the water on, get the nozzle spraying, walk out to the kitchen, and walk him to the bathroom. I don't even need to put a leash on him. He always pauses before he gets into the tub and looks back at me with the saddest expression like "Do I really have to?" but then when I pat the side he dutifully climbs in. There is no fighting, no dragging, no cajoling or tricking. He knows it's coming, and he climbs in anyway. He gets treats during the bath, but he eats them like it is his job, like they bring him no enjoyment whatsoever. He doesn't whimper or whine, he has only attempted to escape once (although if he thinks I'm taking too long he does start to get as close to the outside edge as possible and lean against me to give me a hint) and he even knows not to shake the water off until he's allowed out of the tub. His tail is tucked so far under his body I have to peel it off to wash his belly. And yet he doesn't fuss, he doesn't wiggle, he is a miserable-but cooperative- martyr.
And then after, when I scrub his face with the towel (his absolute favorite part) he is SO HAPPY! It is like he's thinking "THIS IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD! I AM OUT OF THE TUB!" And it never fails, no matter how many times I bathe him, it is right after he gets out (still soggy) that he is just hyper and bouncy and goofy and the happiest he can be. Reminds me that sometimes trials are worth it, if only because of how exciting it is to get to the other side. I just hope I can face my daily, weekly, monthly trials as bravely as Remus faces bathtime. :)
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Remus Woes
Very different from my "It's OK Thursday" link up, instead of the "it's OK" from Remus, I'm going to list a few of his current woes.
He'll really be woeing in a bit because he still needs to be trimmed, bathed, and round two of shaving. (Yeah, his adult coat means first shave is pretty much bushwacking. Round two will tidy him up considerably). Poor, poor fuzzy.
"OH woe, ever since I chewed on that puzzle they keep me locked in the kitchen when I'm inside."
"Oh WOE, I'm locked in more than ever because they redid the yard after all the landscaping I had done. Ungrateful."
"Oh woe, when I am outside they put me on that chain because I chew through everything else."
"OH WOE! That chain is SCARY! I am going to just stand here and not move and whimper howl."
"ohhh wooeee, she's using that buzzy thing and all my hair is falling off!"
"OH woe. This buzzing takes forever and I just can't...quite...eat that bug. WOE!"
He'll really be woeing in a bit because he still needs to be trimmed, bathed, and round two of shaving. (Yeah, his adult coat means first shave is pretty much bushwacking. Round two will tidy him up considerably). Poor, poor fuzzy.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Dreams
I have four types of dreams.
Good dreams- extremely rare. I can't remember the last time I had one of these.
Weird dreams- not good or bad, just, bizarre. By far my most common dream.
Grumpy dreams- they don't come even close to my nightmares, but they aren't any fun and I wake up grumpy.
Nightmares- I don't think these need an explanation.
So yesterday I had a dream that Brian as a dragon killed a kangaroo in some sort of hastily performed ritual, and then we performed cpr on the kangaroo even though we both knew it wouldn't work and then we left because there was an army after us. My dream reaction? I was sad that the kangaroo had to die, she was nice, but I understood why it had to be done.
I woke up very confused.
Anyone else have weird dreams?
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
On the Bright Side...
SO, it's leap year, and to round out my misery in the evil month of February...I have...Strep Throat! Woohoo! Yeah. Just fantastic. I've never had strep as a child, my younger sister was the one chronically getting cotton swabs jabbed at her throat, my style was more emergency room type accidents. And yet, this common PEDIATRIC illness decides to show up when I'm 25 years old. What next, croup? This past weekend I was pretty grumpy about this, my throat seriously feels like someone is raking razors down the back of it and up into my ear canals, and at the same time I am choking on my uvula (little dangly thing at the back of your mouth) because it has swollen so much it is actually touching the back of my tongue. I went to the doctor today for my annual check up and the new PA was the one who saw me. I like this PA I've seen her before only once, but she's very easy to talk with and she's thorough with her assesments. The exam starts out great, Her: "Uh, you lost seven pounds since last month?" Me: "Yup. I'm not in uniform. I'm usually coming straight from work and what with my boots and pants full of stuff and jacket full of more stuff.." She just starts laughing. We get through the rest of the routine exam and I mention that I think I have Strep. She takes out the little light, flicks it on, I open my mouth and say AHHH and she goes, "Ooo!! This is the best case of Strep I've seen yet! I don't even have to swab it!" I just start laughing and she goes, "Seriously, you just made my day." The prescription for Amoxicillan just made mine.
On the bright side, if Strep had happened to me in any other month I would have been doubly annoyed, but since it happened in the accepted month of all that is frustrating I can't really get too upset. If I have to get random childhood illnesses, February is the month of choice.
Also on the bright side, my tulips are sprouting! Remus has destroyed the bulbs I planted around the tree in the front yard (and very nearly destroyed the tree in the process) and the fire ants have taken over the narrow bed in the backyard so I haven't weeded/touched it at all, however the two quarter circle beds framing the driveway are (now) weed free and tulip full! I hope they survive this wacky weather and there isn't a late frost or anything, I really hope they bloom. Most of them have sprouted, I didn't do a full count but one or two are either duds or late bloomers. A few of the bulbs have a double sprout so that'll be fun.
To continue on the bright side, you know that puzzle I was working on? The Picasso one? Well I finished it within the first week of February...except for one piece. Brian and I tore the house apart looking for this one piece and finally ordered a new one following the instructions on the box. Then the other day Brian found the piece and it was...you'll never guess...no, seriously...ON THE PUZZLE. Talk about hiding in plain sight, I swept my hands under the puzzle, I smoothed it out multiple times (but not systematically), we looked under the couches, between cushions, under the treadmill, in Remus's space (very furry), in the laundry hamper, in every jacket pocket, we were desperate! And it was perfectly set on the puzzle in one of the grey areas so it completely blended in. So glad that puzzle is finally done! Now to glue it...
There you have it, I firmly believe that happiness is at least partially a choice. And even though I grump and fuss and moan about this month (it really does have a pretty consistently horrible track record) it's important to, well, look on the bright side every once in awhile.
On the bright side, if Strep had happened to me in any other month I would have been doubly annoyed, but since it happened in the accepted month of all that is frustrating I can't really get too upset. If I have to get random childhood illnesses, February is the month of choice.
Also on the bright side, my tulips are sprouting! Remus has destroyed the bulbs I planted around the tree in the front yard (and very nearly destroyed the tree in the process) and the fire ants have taken over the narrow bed in the backyard so I haven't weeded/touched it at all, however the two quarter circle beds framing the driveway are (now) weed free and tulip full! I hope they survive this wacky weather and there isn't a late frost or anything, I really hope they bloom. Most of them have sprouted, I didn't do a full count but one or two are either duds or late bloomers. A few of the bulbs have a double sprout so that'll be fun.
To continue on the bright side, you know that puzzle I was working on? The Picasso one? Well I finished it within the first week of February...except for one piece. Brian and I tore the house apart looking for this one piece and finally ordered a new one following the instructions on the box. Then the other day Brian found the piece and it was...you'll never guess...no, seriously...ON THE PUZZLE. Talk about hiding in plain sight, I swept my hands under the puzzle, I smoothed it out multiple times (but not systematically), we looked under the couches, between cushions, under the treadmill, in Remus's space (very furry), in the laundry hamper, in every jacket pocket, we were desperate! And it was perfectly set on the puzzle in one of the grey areas so it completely blended in. So glad that puzzle is finally done! Now to glue it...
There you have it, I firmly believe that happiness is at least partially a choice. And even though I grump and fuss and moan about this month (it really does have a pretty consistently horrible track record) it's important to, well, look on the bright side every once in awhile.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
This and That
This post is not going to be very cohesive, I just don't seem to be very organizationally friendly at the moment, bear with me.
Brian liked the bargain radio/8track player/record player I bought, yay!
I LOVE browsing antique/estate stores. But I like it for the fun of sifting through all that junk, I do NOT like it as a social activity like shopping at the mall with friends. Interpretation? No small talk while I'm sorting, silence is golden, I am in serious junk shifting mode. I think I prefer to do this type of shopping alone, as crazy as that may seem, or at least with people who don't mind when I blatently ignore them to sort through a box of old toys.
As much as I like old junk, I still can't stand GOING to yardsales. Hosting them? Fun. Going? Too much of a hassle. Maybe a really really really super big one.
Remus is spoiled rotten at the in-laws, they let him sleep on the love seat at night. I woke up and found him with his chin on the arm rest, tail thumping the cushions completly content. A sheet had been wrapped around the cushions to protect from his shedding.
I have a TON of creative ideas I want to do, it's like I'm on a creativity high. The other day I actually broke out my sketch pad. Weird!
There is a post I want to write about but the content may be...disturbing? I find writing helps process events which is why I want to write it out, but it seemed a little dark for February, February is depressing enough. So, for now, I'm contenting myself with painting about it.
Next big purchase I want? A Serger. I am VERY tired of double stitching or doing french seams and STILL having the final seam look either too bulky or completely unprofessional. I know, nobody sees the seam but me, but it bugs me AND it's time consuming.
I did an asymetrical, sideways-esque french braid the other day that turned out super cool and it was completely by accident. No, seriously, I was standing in front of the mirror and the braid style I was attempting was just not working and I was tired and irritable and grumpy. Brian brought me some hot cider and told me I was beautiful anyway. Didn't help my grumpyness so in frustation I literally just grabbed a chunk of hair around my left temple and started french braiding. The finished product wrapped like a shallow C and ended behind my L ear. I didn't make a part, I barely combed the braid as I was doing it, but it ended up looking kinda pretty. I definitely have plans to tidy it up a bit for next time, but I'm adding it to my repetoire :)
Guess thats enough for now, anyone else in the midst of creative projects?
Brian liked the bargain radio/8track player/record player I bought, yay!
I LOVE browsing antique/estate stores. But I like it for the fun of sifting through all that junk, I do NOT like it as a social activity like shopping at the mall with friends. Interpretation? No small talk while I'm sorting, silence is golden, I am in serious junk shifting mode. I think I prefer to do this type of shopping alone, as crazy as that may seem, or at least with people who don't mind when I blatently ignore them to sort through a box of old toys.
As much as I like old junk, I still can't stand GOING to yardsales. Hosting them? Fun. Going? Too much of a hassle. Maybe a really really really super big one.
Remus is spoiled rotten at the in-laws, they let him sleep on the love seat at night. I woke up and found him with his chin on the arm rest, tail thumping the cushions completly content. A sheet had been wrapped around the cushions to protect from his shedding.
I have a TON of creative ideas I want to do, it's like I'm on a creativity high. The other day I actually broke out my sketch pad. Weird!
There is a post I want to write about but the content may be...disturbing? I find writing helps process events which is why I want to write it out, but it seemed a little dark for February, February is depressing enough. So, for now, I'm contenting myself with painting about it.
Next big purchase I want? A Serger. I am VERY tired of double stitching or doing french seams and STILL having the final seam look either too bulky or completely unprofessional. I know, nobody sees the seam but me, but it bugs me AND it's time consuming.
I did an asymetrical, sideways-esque french braid the other day that turned out super cool and it was completely by accident. No, seriously, I was standing in front of the mirror and the braid style I was attempting was just not working and I was tired and irritable and grumpy. Brian brought me some hot cider and told me I was beautiful anyway. Didn't help my grumpyness so in frustation I literally just grabbed a chunk of hair around my left temple and started french braiding. The finished product wrapped like a shallow C and ended behind my L ear. I didn't make a part, I barely combed the braid as I was doing it, but it ended up looking kinda pretty. I definitely have plans to tidy it up a bit for next time, but I'm adding it to my repetoire :)
Guess thats enough for now, anyone else in the midst of creative projects?
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
People Colors!
With the whole synesthasia thing I associate people with colors. Except I'm not sure it's really synesthasia. The synesthasia really comes into play with numbers being certain colors-and personalities, same for letters, and also certain words. I actually feel like I have ordinal linguistic personification, moreso than grapheme color synesthasia. Not that I don't associate words, letters, numbers with colors, but that the feelings and personalities they evoke are usually much stronger. And my automatic and persistent feelings towards certain things (days of the week, months of the year, intersections or roads, places, names) just because of the personalities they evoke often influence my mood or perception, sometimes I catch myself and try to override it but it's tough.
So, the people color thing. Is that really synesthasia? Or is it my subconscious assigning colors (which have personalities) to match human personalities? For one thing, it isn't instantaneous, and that seems to be a key ingredient in synesthasia (the evoking personalities is definitely instant. The first time I went through the Main st./George Owen intersection I became uneasy and a bit freaked out. I don't like that intersection. It's creepy. Like a rich old guy, blackmailing teenage girls to have sex with him. That kind of creepy/disturbing. It still bothers me driving through it). Strangers I meet are all kind of a bland mustard yellow grey color, kinda hazy, sometimes colors will tint the haze during conversations or whatnot, but at some point, and I have no idea when it is, their color becomes distinct and permenant. And I can't get rid of it. It's like, when I have memories, or even think about people, in my mind they always have that color kindof tinting or outlining them. I don't project it onto them when I see them, it's always just in my head. And when I see that color, it often brings that person to mind. It's like my mind automatically instegrams memories in my head, but instead of old-timey ocher it's tinged with that person's color. Some people are quicker to be colors than others, and some colors are way more intense and almost overwhelming.
Now, the point of the post is-it is John LaVoie's birthday today and a few days ago on the ambulance I saw his color. His color has bothered me because it hadn't settled. Now, granted, he's the second newest addition to the family (sorry Emma, gotta grow up a bit, right now you're a rose and gold and peaches kindof color mess) and I don't know him as well as I know everyone else, and colors seem to take longer to settle on guys than girls (because I have a harder time relating because I'm a girl??) but he's family and I felt like I was being somehow rude not having a color for him. Now, I didn't want to over thinkit and assign him a color, because that doesnt work, so I've basically tried to ignore his hazy, swirling, mess of indistinc colors when ever I think about him and Rachel. I knew it was a darker color (He is defintely not a yellow) and that was it.
And the color is...Indigo! Or at least, what I always imagined Indigo to be, which is a deep dark blue with just a hint of violety pigment. It's a dense color (as in impenetrable, not as in dumb), not flashy-but intense, whimsical on the edges and sometimes lonely. I like Indigo, I think it's crap that they took it out of the rainbow. I saw it in the sky, by the way, it was a very blue night. You know, sometimes night is black-grey, and other times a brown dirtyish black, and sometimes really purple black, and that night I was driving the ambulance and boy the sky was blue for that time of night! And I immediately thought of John, and beach vacation and him in front of the refridgerator putting something on the table and there you have it.
Seriously, is this just all in my head? I mean, I KNOW it's in my head, but did I just wake up one day as a kid and thought it would be a cool game to play and kinda kept doing it and forgot it was a game? Is it pseudo-synesthasiatic (synesthasiatic, is that a word? synesthasiesque?). Or would I just be really good at basic interview questions (If you were a color, what would you be? "Well, ma'am, I hope to be a purple or maybe a light blue, I really don't want to be fuschia...You seem like an orange woman...)
So, the people color thing. Is that really synesthasia? Or is it my subconscious assigning colors (which have personalities) to match human personalities? For one thing, it isn't instantaneous, and that seems to be a key ingredient in synesthasia (the evoking personalities is definitely instant. The first time I went through the Main st./George Owen intersection I became uneasy and a bit freaked out. I don't like that intersection. It's creepy. Like a rich old guy, blackmailing teenage girls to have sex with him. That kind of creepy/disturbing. It still bothers me driving through it). Strangers I meet are all kind of a bland mustard yellow grey color, kinda hazy, sometimes colors will tint the haze during conversations or whatnot, but at some point, and I have no idea when it is, their color becomes distinct and permenant. And I can't get rid of it. It's like, when I have memories, or even think about people, in my mind they always have that color kindof tinting or outlining them. I don't project it onto them when I see them, it's always just in my head. And when I see that color, it often brings that person to mind. It's like my mind automatically instegrams memories in my head, but instead of old-timey ocher it's tinged with that person's color. Some people are quicker to be colors than others, and some colors are way more intense and almost overwhelming.
Now, the point of the post is-it is John LaVoie's birthday today and a few days ago on the ambulance I saw his color. His color has bothered me because it hadn't settled. Now, granted, he's the second newest addition to the family (sorry Emma, gotta grow up a bit, right now you're a rose and gold and peaches kindof color mess) and I don't know him as well as I know everyone else, and colors seem to take longer to settle on guys than girls (because I have a harder time relating because I'm a girl??) but he's family and I felt like I was being somehow rude not having a color for him. Now, I didn't want to over thinkit and assign him a color, because that doesnt work, so I've basically tried to ignore his hazy, swirling, mess of indistinc colors when ever I think about him and Rachel. I knew it was a darker color (He is defintely not a yellow) and that was it.
And the color is...Indigo! Or at least, what I always imagined Indigo to be, which is a deep dark blue with just a hint of violety pigment. It's a dense color (as in impenetrable, not as in dumb), not flashy-but intense, whimsical on the edges and sometimes lonely. I like Indigo, I think it's crap that they took it out of the rainbow. I saw it in the sky, by the way, it was a very blue night. You know, sometimes night is black-grey, and other times a brown dirtyish black, and sometimes really purple black, and that night I was driving the ambulance and boy the sky was blue for that time of night! And I immediately thought of John, and beach vacation and him in front of the refridgerator putting something on the table and there you have it.
His color is more at the top than the bottom.
Happy Birthday John!Seriously, is this just all in my head? I mean, I KNOW it's in my head, but did I just wake up one day as a kid and thought it would be a cool game to play and kinda kept doing it and forgot it was a game? Is it pseudo-synesthasiatic (synesthasiatic, is that a word? synesthasiesque?). Or would I just be really good at basic interview questions (If you were a color, what would you be? "Well, ma'am, I hope to be a purple or maybe a light blue, I really don't want to be fuschia...You seem like an orange woman...)
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Faith in EMS
Some times I get frustrated with the ridiculous amount of empathy I feel for people. I hid behind sarcasm and literal distance, preferring to deal with my own moods instead of constantly trying to navigate and appease others...and I cry in my car in my driveway at the end of shift. Empathy as a paramedic is useful, but I feel it can also be crippling. I have a hard time brushing off the patients we transport, especially those who die or we find dead. Some are worse than others and from some I have a much easier time distancing myself. Although I always feel sympathetic for the families, it is harder to feel sympathetic for the 40 yo F who strokes out due to constant cocaine use, leaving multiple children who are malnourished and barefoot to be picked up by other family members. It's hard to feel sympathetic for patients who abuse the 911 system on a regular basis. It's hard to feel sympathetic for the drunk who swerved out of control off the road and hit a tree-hitting a 5 year old child in the process. There are people I have picked up and I am absolutely amazed by how much they repulse me, I wonder how they could ever have let themselves get to the state they are in, and how they can continue when help-medical and mental- is offered to them free of charge and repeatedly. I get so angry at how selfish they are, what a burden to everyone else, and how they just don't seem to care. It's a helpless, frustrating, useless anger because there is literally nothing I can do, and I spend a lot of time in angry confused prayer trying to resolve my own pointless frustration with these people.
A few nights ago I was reading in Romans, and I came upon one of the famous Awana Verses Chapter 5, vs. 8. "but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." It was the verses before this one though, that really made me stop to think. Starting in vs 6, "For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person-though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die--but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." I thought of all those crackaddicts and chronic alcoholics, abusive moms, abusive spouses-some I know by name-those people we pick up that are so extremely disgusting, and realized that to God THAT was us. I know it's been taught and preached (praught?) a bazillion times, but for me it was an eye opener, and some how, I don't feel quite as angry at all those miserable, selfish people I transport. My anger dissappeared, I was abashed, ashamed, and extremely grateful. Now, I still get frustrated with some patients, but these verses bring me up short. I may not understand God's purpose, I may not be able to help those that many in this system deem "worthless", and feeling anger at the harm they inflict on others is ok, but if God can love me when I was that absolutely foul and revolting-riddled with sin, then I have absolutely no room to hate these other humans. I may not be at the point yet where I can love them, I may not be at the point where I would die for them, but I can at least keep my temper in check because ultimately it's between them and God, and I have no right to be self righteous.
Just some thoughts that have kept bouncing around in my head. I've gotta keep working on seperating the sin from the sinner...
A few nights ago I was reading in Romans, and I came upon one of the famous Awana Verses Chapter 5, vs. 8. "but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." It was the verses before this one though, that really made me stop to think. Starting in vs 6, "For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person-though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die--but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." I thought of all those crackaddicts and chronic alcoholics, abusive moms, abusive spouses-some I know by name-those people we pick up that are so extremely disgusting, and realized that to God THAT was us. I know it's been taught and preached (praught?) a bazillion times, but for me it was an eye opener, and some how, I don't feel quite as angry at all those miserable, selfish people I transport. My anger dissappeared, I was abashed, ashamed, and extremely grateful. Now, I still get frustrated with some patients, but these verses bring me up short. I may not understand God's purpose, I may not be able to help those that many in this system deem "worthless", and feeling anger at the harm they inflict on others is ok, but if God can love me when I was that absolutely foul and revolting-riddled with sin, then I have absolutely no room to hate these other humans. I may not be at the point yet where I can love them, I may not be at the point where I would die for them, but I can at least keep my temper in check because ultimately it's between them and God, and I have no right to be self righteous.
Just some thoughts that have kept bouncing around in my head. I've gotta keep working on seperating the sin from the sinner...
Thursday, February 9, 2012
It's OK Thursday...Remus's perspective
I saw this on my cousin's page (cousin-in-law I guess technically, but thats a pain to type all the time) and I figured I'd link up and give it a try. Though to give it a spin appropriate to my blog, I'm channeling Remus for this "It's OK Thursday".
IT'S OK (if you're Remus)...
...to dig holes in the front yard. Digging is fun! Bugs are fun! Puddles are fun!
...to eat rocks...except that one...this one's OK though!...nope...This one's ok!...
...to stick my nose up people butts. Such interesting smells! Wish they wouldn't jump so much...
...that my farts are probably killing brain cells, I don't have many brain cells to kill so I'm safe.
...that I fling my bone on kitchen counters, as long as it falls off again.
...to bark at the neighbors. It's more than OK, it is absolutely necessary!
...that I pee like a girl still.
...to run in circles when I'm excited.
...to make the car shake when I pant.
...to make funny noises when I'm bored and roll around on the kitchen floor.
...to stand on my owner's foot, how else can I get her to scratch my ears?
...to help eat any and all left over cheese when my owner is cooking, even if I have to sneak it off the counter.
...that I walk when I poop. Too many interesting smell on the ground, no time for potty breaks! I'm that hardcore.
...to sleep for 14-15 hours in a 24 hour period...or mayb 16...or 17...who's counting?
...to dribble my food all over the carpet when I eat, I'm saving it for when my owner forgets to feed me....wait...she only ever seems to forget when the floor is a mess...weird!
And to end the list, something that is definitely NOT OK no matter what day of the week: Vacuum Cleaners! Those things will destroy you! Best to stay in your crate and whimper continuously.
Monday, February 6, 2012
February Highlights
I know, it's only the 6th of Februray so I'm being a little preemptive posting highlights, but a positive attitude goes a long way in general mood improvement and my general mood in February is whiney, grumpy, and irritable. I could use some improvement.
I won't go into great detail about why I hate February so much, some of it is ingrained and instinctual, some of it is the weather, and at this point, some of it is habit. However, good things do happen in February-namely, I have a lot of friends born in this month. So here are some good things in and about February:
I have five birthdays to celebrate (Including both my brother-in-laws)
It is the shortest month of the year, technically, even if it does seem to take forever.
It's color is purple and I do like purple.
It's a great month for prayer and meditation. Albeit, some of the prayer is excessively whiney, but every year February is the month I spend the most time in scripture. I really need to extend this more consistently into the other months.
I don't have to shave my legs.
Tax returns
And this year specifically, February is a good month because I've been able to work crisis pay and we need that money.
The thing that has really made my February this year, however, is something I can't post about in great detail yet because in the process of drawing it out to get the most enjoyment I am trying to keep quiet about it until Brian gets home. It's not really THAT big of a deal, and most people will probably be like "uh...ok...and you're so excited why?" But I think it is pretty darn awesome, awesome enough to at least momentarily banish my normal February grumps.
In other news, the outside edge of the Picasso puzzle is finally complete. I only have fifty ish pieces to put in place and I am DONE with that monochromatic nightmare. Though, honestly, it isn't truly monochromatic. There are at least two places where there is a tiny, but distinct, purple line in the painting.Thats right- black, white, grey and purple. The perfet February puzzle.
I won't go into great detail about why I hate February so much, some of it is ingrained and instinctual, some of it is the weather, and at this point, some of it is habit. However, good things do happen in February-namely, I have a lot of friends born in this month. So here are some good things in and about February:
I have five birthdays to celebrate (Including both my brother-in-laws)
It is the shortest month of the year, technically, even if it does seem to take forever.
It's color is purple and I do like purple.
It's a great month for prayer and meditation. Albeit, some of the prayer is excessively whiney, but every year February is the month I spend the most time in scripture. I really need to extend this more consistently into the other months.
I don't have to shave my legs.
Tax returns
And this year specifically, February is a good month because I've been able to work crisis pay and we need that money.
The thing that has really made my February this year, however, is something I can't post about in great detail yet because in the process of drawing it out to get the most enjoyment I am trying to keep quiet about it until Brian gets home. It's not really THAT big of a deal, and most people will probably be like "uh...ok...and you're so excited why?" But I think it is pretty darn awesome, awesome enough to at least momentarily banish my normal February grumps.
In other news, the outside edge of the Picasso puzzle is finally complete. I only have fifty ish pieces to put in place and I am DONE with that monochromatic nightmare. Though, honestly, it isn't truly monochromatic. There are at least two places where there is a tiny, but distinct, purple line in the painting.Thats right- black, white, grey and purple. The perfet February puzzle.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Awards! :)
I got nominated by my far-better-at-this-blogging-thing-than-I-am sister at Friffle Thoughts, thank you thank you! It covers a wide variety of, well, friffles about life in general. The Monday Meditations are one of my favorite parts. Who doesn't need a little Meditation on Mondays?
Here's how the award works:
1) Thank the award-giver and link them back in your post.
2) Tell your readers seven (7) things about yourself.
3) Give this award to up to fifteen (15) recently discovered bloggers.
4) Contact those bloggers and let them in on the exciting news.
Here is a random assortment of seven things about myself.
1 - I actually really love being a paramedic, I know I rant about it a lot, but thats because it's hard to talk about the good stories without violating HIPPA.
2 - I like guns and knives and weapons of all kinda, but I'm horrible at remembering makes/models/or any technical stuff about them.
3 - I could eat my weight in bread, pasta, and cheese. Now that I think about it, most of my weight probably is bread, pasta, and cheese. (Keeping your answer Rebecca, it's probably true of our entire family)
4 - I am habitually untidy and my husband is obssessive compulsive about vacuuming. Patience works both ways.
5 - I don't like most romantic comedies because of the "awkwardness". You know what I'm talking about, those scenes most people find immensly hilarious as feet are inserted into mouths, clothing malfunctions, or other equally emberrassing things happen. I literally can't watch them. I even fast forward through the one "party" in Pride and Prejiduce where Elizabeth's family acts so disgracefully.
6 - I hate the month of February, my favorite day is Tuesday
7 - I get lost all the time. Not just driving, I can get disoriented in the mall without trying, shoot I can get disoriented in a department store! It has mostly ceased to bother me and I simply wander around until I find the way out or ask for directions.
Recently Discovered Bloggers.
1. Reading Today Seriously fun blog, all about words, reading, language, etc. in today's world. Ok so it's my sister's other blog, what can I say? She really is a lot better at this than I am, haha
2. Life In These Times Ok, not a recently discovered blog, and she's already received this award, but I love reading her posts anyway so if anyone besides her and my sister read this, they should definitely check her blog out :)
....yeah, I don't have any other blogs I follow. Sorry...
Monday, January 30, 2012
Performance Anxiety
I've mentioned before that my current permenant partner on the ambulance has gastrointestinal issues resulting in varied -and frequent- sounds and smells. He has farts that last 30 seconds in duration and I swear make the ambulance vibrate. Ever make fart noises on you arm or with your hands and sometimes think they were completely unrealistic? They aren't. Sometimes he farts and I wonder where the lightening has struck.
The smells are no less incredible or varied then the sounds. My appreciation of the different types of gas the human body can produce has expanded rapidly (haha, expanded...gas jokes). Some of the smells are sharp but dissipate rapidly, while others are almost cloying and as he succinctly puts it, "they get stuck in my pants." He can fart outside the ambulance, climb inside, and the fart follows him. Crop dusting is not his strong suit.
Why all this talk about farts? Because everyone does it, and usually I take the crop dusting approach and sneak a little relief walking from the ambulance to the residence (as long as noone is close by) but lately I find I can't even do that. As I was driving home after work yesterday morning and seemed unusually gassy I realized I hadn't farted once since getting to work. Looking back I realized I have been holding my gas at work subconsciously and I think it's at least partially due to performance anxiety. Not only are my farts usually silent, but the deadliest of smells I can produce would rate an "eh" on the Chuck scale. How embarrassing would it be to say "that was me" and get the response of "what?". I explained this to him and he started laughing but then acknowledged that there is truth in my assessment because in the predominently male world of fart competiton, those who knew him would stop farting in his presence.
The only being I know who I think could take him in a smelliest fart competition...is Remus. Not only has Remus driven me from the room with potency and duration of lingering, but if Chuck farted at Remus, Remus would probably enjoy it.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Seven Deadly Sins
Wrath, pride, lust, envy, sloth, greed, and gluttony. I always forget at least one when I try to list them, usually envy or greed, two sins I don't seem to struggle with as much. Or maybe thats just pride speaking. I was working on the puzzle the other day and randomly started contemplating the sins and wondering of which one I was the worst offender. I believe people are more predisposed towards some sins over others-due to nature or nurture or really a combination of both- and although I've participated in all of the sins at some point or the other, I wanted to see if I could narrow it down to the one I engaged in the most.
Believe me, I'm not proud of being a sinner, but narrowing down where I was most susceptible to temptation seemed like a good idea...or is that pride speaking? I definitely struggle with pride, it makes the top three without a doubt. I'm not a very confident person, but I loathe being wrong. My motivation for doing the right thing is often a function of me detesting apologies. Definitely not always the right motive, and God looks on the heart, eek.
Wrath is also in the top three. I have a temper that is irrational and explosive. Its like I have a perpetual pot of simmering anger on the backburner, and if I'm in a bad mood anything can trigger it. I hold grudges, I have a hard time letting go even after a matter has been "resolved." My temper has improved outwardly with much prayer, introspection, and leaving the room before I say anything stupid, but I still find myself brooding over situations that make me angry and lashing out in complete overreactions at times. Yes, anger makes the top three.
Greed and envy, like I said earlier, I've never really had much of a problem with. Oh yes, I've been greedy and envious before, but like a headcold compared to the chronic bronchitis of anger and pride.
Lust, eh, I don't really know. I've had my moments I suppose, but I never could develop crushes on movie stars or play out fantasies in my head. Maybe its the medical profession but naked bodies are naked bodies, I guess it just doesnt bother me.
Gluttony? I dont think so. I mean, I like food and all, and luxuries, but they aren't really that important. I mean yes, I have to eat, but the only foods I really gorge myself on are beef stroganoff and mac and cheese. And I can live without luxuries and be happy no problem.
That leaves sloth. Oh sloth. To me this is probably the most embarrasing sin to admit to. I mean, anger and pride-youre almost expected to admit to those, and who doesn't get jealous on occasion or want more money? Lust, in today's culture, is expected. And in the christian world it's almost drilled into you the moment you start going to youth group. Gluttony? Come on, I feel left out because I can't join weight watchers with the rest of America. But sloth? Go to the ant though sluggard! Lazyness is despised in every culture I've ever heard of, being a hard worker is important. Even people renowned for "chill"ness- like chronic potheads- can point out the laziest member of their group with just a touch of disdain. And this, if I'm honest with myself, is my worst deadly sin. I can laze a day, a week, a month away without a problem. I hold my bladder for hours because I dont want the hassle of going to the bathroom, I procrastinate everything, I make excuses in my head for why I shouldn't/don't have to do certain things-at least not right then, on my days off I usually dont even bother getting dressed. I can sleep 8-10hours without a problem, then get up and nap on the couch. I LOVE sleep. Snuggling up under the covers, burrowing into my pillows, savoring the lovely feeling of doing nothing...yes, sloth is definitely a problem. I need encouragement or admonishment to get anything accomplished. Good thing I married an organized, internally motivated man or I'd still be contemplating filling out job applications instead of going to school to be a paramedic and working as such for almost two years. If it weren't for pride and the constant accountability of family and friends, Id be as slothful as a, well, sloth.
So, thank you family and friends, for keeping me from turning into a three toed hairy moster with algea growing on me. I work on combating my lazyness-some days are better than others- but it is a tough battle and impossible without knowing that if I sat around and did nothing it would eventually expose my utter slothfullness to the world and my pride can't take that.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
P.S. To "Quick Note"
What an ambulance can do for you:
If you are truly having an emergency, a medic crew can provide life saving interventions. We carry meds like epinephrine, nitro, adenosine, cardizem... We have CPAP, we can start IVs, IOs, needle decompress, cardiovert, defibrillate....
If you have a sinus infection....we can give you a piece of guaze to blow your nose (we dont even carry tissues)
If you sprained something-we have icepacks
If you have a headache-we have childrens ibuprofen
If your nauseated, we may offer you a shot in the butt of zofran.
If we just sit and talk with you the entire trip to the hospital, you are either a psych patient, a homeless person who wants a warm place to sleep, or a worthless pansy.
An ambulance DOES NOT, I repeat, DOES NOT get you seen faster. I will put you out in the waiting room and you will wait just as long.
An ambulance ride DOES cost an arm and a leg, and if it is non-emergent medicare/medicaid and most other major insurance companies will NOT cover it.
Brian's in PSYOP, maybe I can get him to print this in a pamphlet and we can air drop thousands of them on Fayetteville....
Quick note....
If you can't afford to get your prescription filled, how are you going to afford the ambulance ride? Oh, thats right, you don't ever plan on paying.
If you are having a true emergency, I don't mind in the slightest.
If you seriously have no other means of transport or enough immediate cash for a taxi, I sympathize.
If you have a cold, six cars in your driveway, and at LEAST one other adult with a valid drivers license (who then follows behind or wants to ride up front), I resent you, a lot. It is hard to think well of humanity when THAT is over 50% of our calls.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
How to break an addiction...
Develop an overriding addiction! Works like a charm. No, seriously, it does. Brian left Friday early morning to visit his family in Lynchburg, leaving me holding down the fort here in NC while I work all weekend. You'd think we'd both be better at short periods of seperation buuuuut, no, we're not. The morning started grumpy enough, I headed to bed around 2am (my eyes finally giving out on me after too much puzzling) and Brian woke up at 4am to get ready to leave only to discover that the power was out. Yup, and remained out for approx four hours. He left me with a flash light, extra blankets (it gets chilly quick with no heat!) and both of us disgruntled. Anywho, enough back story. Suffice it to say, when Brian isn't around I feel disinclined to do anything. Be it get out of bed, shower, do the dishes, even feeding myself all kinda falls to the wayside.
I do manage to get out of bed and shower, but instead of bothering to wash a few dishes and make myself a substantial dinner, I throw in a hot pocket and search for something to entertain myself. The puzzle is beckoning, but at this point my back is almost seizing when I try to get up in the morning and it hurts to bend my knees. Even though it's painful, the lure of it almost overwhelms me until I remember one of my New Years Resolutions to read 30 books I haven't read yet and I march myself grimly over to the bookshelves in Brian's room, determined to ignore the puzzle. My eyes fall on the hardcover box set of "The Hunger Games" trilogy. Books Brian read on his Kindle while in Iraq. I pull out the first one, remove the dust cover, grab my hot pocket, and start an addiction more consuming than the puzzle.
From Friday afternoon when I woke up to this past Sunday morning around 1am I read all three Hunger Games books in my spare time. I dreamt about the hunger games when I went to sleep Saturday morning, so restless and delusional I remember partially waking up at one point to yank out my pony tail and I fuzzily slip the pony band around my wrist (something I LOATHE having on my wrist when I'm trying to sleep) because I adamantly think I may be able to use the elastic as a snare in the Games. I wake up with it on my wrist and it takes me a few seconds to realize how foggy I was on reality.
These books were very engaging. Consuming. Addicting. Irksome, really. Maybe I was just in the perfect frame of mind for the story to take hold, but I was literally getting upset at running calls because I wanted to keep reading. I recommend these books. They made me want to punch things. They were really good.
I haven't puzzled at all since picking up the first book. Not even when I came home this morning. The books are still tumbling through my mind, and what happens with any emotionally engaging (read: exhausting) book, it'll take a bit before I can calm my thoughts down and go back to focusing on something else.
Read the books.
Also, if you're addicted to something and need a break, try another-finite-addiction. May not be the ultimate cure, but it was a pretty darn good distraction.
I do manage to get out of bed and shower, but instead of bothering to wash a few dishes and make myself a substantial dinner, I throw in a hot pocket and search for something to entertain myself. The puzzle is beckoning, but at this point my back is almost seizing when I try to get up in the morning and it hurts to bend my knees. Even though it's painful, the lure of it almost overwhelms me until I remember one of my New Years Resolutions to read 30 books I haven't read yet and I march myself grimly over to the bookshelves in Brian's room, determined to ignore the puzzle. My eyes fall on the hardcover box set of "The Hunger Games" trilogy. Books Brian read on his Kindle while in Iraq. I pull out the first one, remove the dust cover, grab my hot pocket, and start an addiction more consuming than the puzzle.
From Friday afternoon when I woke up to this past Sunday morning around 1am I read all three Hunger Games books in my spare time. I dreamt about the hunger games when I went to sleep Saturday morning, so restless and delusional I remember partially waking up at one point to yank out my pony tail and I fuzzily slip the pony band around my wrist (something I LOATHE having on my wrist when I'm trying to sleep) because I adamantly think I may be able to use the elastic as a snare in the Games. I wake up with it on my wrist and it takes me a few seconds to realize how foggy I was on reality.
These books were very engaging. Consuming. Addicting. Irksome, really. Maybe I was just in the perfect frame of mind for the story to take hold, but I was literally getting upset at running calls because I wanted to keep reading. I recommend these books. They made me want to punch things. They were really good.
I haven't puzzled at all since picking up the first book. Not even when I came home this morning. The books are still tumbling through my mind, and what happens with any emotionally engaging (read: exhausting) book, it'll take a bit before I can calm my thoughts down and go back to focusing on something else.
Read the books.
Also, if you're addicted to something and need a break, try another-finite-addiction. May not be the ultimate cure, but it was a pretty darn good distraction.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Puzzling
THIS is what has occupied all of my time since coming home from the beach. Brian thought this was a cool puzzle. Brian thought this would be a neat puzzle to complete, glue together and frame. Brian thought it would be a good idea to break out said puzzle after we got back from the beach. Guess what Brian's been doing since the puzzle has been opened?
Yeah....The most help I've gotten from him was at the very beginning. He picked up a piece, stared at it for awhile, and promptly told me it was broken.
The reviews of this puzzle on Amazon were likewise useful. The first one is an example of a review that I at first thought was stating the obvious and I couldn't understand how it would be helpful. However, I then read the second review and realized if the second lady had actually read the first review, it could've saved her some considerable brain cells, and judging by HER review-she doesn't have a lot to spare on puzzles. The third review is probably the most helpful.
This is most certainly an expert level puzzle, and requires the most patience of any puzzle I have seen to this point. Shades of gray and hundreds of solid black pieces add to the difficulty in addition to the obvious large number of pieces. --OK, I thought this stated the obvious, but thanks for the warning.
I must say it was VERY challenging because there are only 3 colors: white, black & gray. (Um, yes, there are only three colors, thank you for listing them since I couldn't figure that out by looking at the PICTURE) You'd think that'd make it easy, but no, maybe if it were a 1000 piece puzzle yeah. (???? NO I would NOT think fewer colors would make a puzzle easier. Seriously lady? Why don't you try one of those "all white" puzzles, I bet they'd be SUPER easy because there is only ONE color. And it's white, in case you couldn't figure it out by looking at the box.)
This one is a tuffy. ...Really? A 3000 piece monochromatic puzzle of a painting by Picasso? I thought it'd be a breeze...
So yes, I've been puzzling. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm addicted to it. Saturday night I stayed up puzzling till 5 am and thought Brian was lying to me when he told me what time it was. I stood up and literally could not walk because my knees had SWOLLEN from staying bent for that long. The puzzle is on the floor, it is too big for the coffee table we own (which is currently in the garage anyway), it doesn't even fit the puzzle mat we have, I had to use an additional one to get all the pieces to fit.
...And this is all I've managed to accomplish. I can't even get the border completed yet because, just to make it even MORE fun, multiple pieces fit with multiple other pieces. So sorting out the minute differences in shades of black edge pieces just hasn't been a priority for me.
Honestly, I really do like puzzles and this one is actually kind of a fun challange, not to mention a neat way to examine Picasso's work. I've liked Picasso since I first started art classes and the closer you study this picture the more it seems utterly bizzare and yet some how makes sense. I'm also a decent puzzler-I've been addicted to them for years-so I can actually look at a piece, examine the picture on the box, and then place it in the area it should go (at least for the pieces that aren't just a solid color). I used to think looking at the box while puzzling was cheating, but there is no way I could complete this puzzle otherwise. So hopefully in six months or so I'll be posting a picture of the complete project on here. Also, hopefully, my knees will still work.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Internet
I'm attempting to post from my phone. If the auto correct doesn't make me chuck it out the window this may be the new way for me to post. I have the most "down time" in between calls at work and now that I've upgraded my phone to at least eighth grade level smart I might be able to make this work.
So, I apologize again for my slackerishness with this blog, Ill continue to try and improve my consistency. What I've wanted to post for the past few weeks is a look at bad street names. It started when my partner and I were dispatched to a call in a lower income neighborhood on "Tuckahoe Dr". It was late, I immediately said, "Where the prostitutes are fun sized. Just tuck a ho in your pocket." It went downhill from there, but it got me thinking about odd street names, especially in this area. "Hotdog Ln" caught my attention when I first started working here, as well as the two side by side trailer parks-one all saltwater fish names, the other all fresh water fish names and no connecting street. If you guessed your fish street was saltwater and it was freshwater, you had to turn around and drive all the way out and enter the other park. Fun times. Now fish are ok, but who wants to live on "Bimbo Dr" ? All time worst street name so far, hands down, is "Hyannis St" pronounced in this area, I kid you not, "Hi Anus". I'll keep you posted on other interesting street names in the area, for now, its off to another call.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Excuses, excuses
I haven't posted in awhile, sorry.
I have, however, gotten packed and rearranged for the beach in between work, vet appointments, gift card shopping, and scrapbooking like a mad woman to try and get caught up on the year.
I also worked 14 hours of overtime in the ER on thursday. So, I worked monday night, tuesday night (can I just say "tuesnight?") got off wednesday morning, then worked 14 hours on thursday (10am to midnight) then frinight, saturnight, sunnight, got off monday morning and headed straight to the beach.
I do have pictures and stories and cohesive blog stuff to write about. I am, however, a wee bit short on time. Since I'm on vacation and am currently borrowing Rebecca's computer, I probably won't have any update time untill I'm back home. So, uh, BRB? In...a week? K, thanks
I have, however, gotten packed and rearranged for the beach in between work, vet appointments, gift card shopping, and scrapbooking like a mad woman to try and get caught up on the year.
I also worked 14 hours of overtime in the ER on thursday. So, I worked monday night, tuesday night (can I just say "tuesnight?") got off wednesday morning, then worked 14 hours on thursday (10am to midnight) then frinight, saturnight, sunnight, got off monday morning and headed straight to the beach.
I do have pictures and stories and cohesive blog stuff to write about. I am, however, a wee bit short on time. Since I'm on vacation and am currently borrowing Rebecca's computer, I probably won't have any update time untill I'm back home. So, uh, BRB? In...a week? K, thanks
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